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thanks guys, not abusive no, well not physically but i sometimes feel mentally abused. we have our own home, i have only ever had little part time jobs he has paid for everything over the years, except my mobile bill, so cant complain in that department really. only have my 17 yr old son left at home, he clashes with his dad but also with me to be honest. i dont know how to approach the subject with my husband. i am scared of the unknown really. i dont think i could just dump myself on friends. i started a part time job in october so dont ave a lot of money, if i was to go to a relative i would not be able to work as its too far from my place of employment as i dont drive.