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Universal Laws

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starone | 23:02 Thu 07th Feb 2013 | Jokes
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1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

6. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

7. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

9. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

11. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

13. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

14. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

15. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

16. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

17. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

18. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

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Newton's 4th Law of Motion: "However much you shake it, the last drop always goes down your leg" ;-)
02:36 Fri 08th Feb 2013
oh yes, very good

numbers 1 & 6 are all too familiar
Very true Star
Been caught by 17 several times - Grrrrrrrrrrrr!
Newton's 4th Law of Motion:
"However much you shake it, the last drop always goes down your leg"

;-)
Law 1 is so true.

But how can you tell if law 4 is true or not? If no-one answered, you wouldn't know it was a wrong number.
No 1 usually happens as soon as put on the marigolds to wash up, so nose ends up full of soap suds.
they also missed out the supermarket race, sods law,
change aisle as it looks quicker, the person in front can't remember their card number, or can't find purse, dropped change all over the floor, remember they need an extra six items, or the wheels have come off the trolley, that's when i head for the exit.
There is a lot of truth in most of them. However I want to know how you can tell if #4 is true.

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