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Ab Wife/husband Swap

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Barmaid | 18:47 Tue 19th Feb 2013 | ChatterBank
52 Answers
Prompted by Bednobs in my F&D thread.

Make your own rules.

On offer: 1 47 y/o male. Knows where dishwasher is, but can't scrape plates. Unloads dishwasher into wrong cupboards. Punches brick walls when angry (hence splitting knuckles) and then moans when he can't find plasters. Sucks stuff up hoover that ought to be picked up and moans when hoover gets blocked. Moans he has too much to do, and gives me more to do when he goes out. Does things of monumental stupidity. Otherwise, loving, tactile, sexy, caring, ever so slightly daft, means well but is generally a bit of a muppet. loves cats. Cats love him (they are ***** too). Brilliant dad though.

Exchange welcome (on a temporary basis only since whilst he's a muppet, I'd quite like to keep him).

OK who's for swapping........ ;)
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:-)
Actually I would probably gabble away and make myself look utterly stupid. I couldn't cope with a gorgeous young Daniel Craig. I feel comfortable with my old guy, so have decided to keep him. He was meant to be home about 2 hours ago - no sense of time whatsoever!!!!
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lol Lofty, Mr LL and Mr BM sound similar. Mr BM lost all track of time last weds at a lunch meet (he was meant to pick his kids up). I had to go and find him. He is clueless.
I have put up with it for 41 years BM! The amount of time I have spent waiting for him is immeasureable. If he is involved in something time is totally forgotten. He will work through the night if necessary and not realise that he has done so!!
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i was going to say "welcome to my world", but after 41 years, you ought to be welcoming me to yours!
I can offer a 42 year old with a full head of hair and all moving parts in full working order. Does all the food shopping and cooking, is unbelievably caring and likes cats. Cons are he likes to dress like a 12 year old skateboarder, is into really weird music and goes quiet in an argument. Available for 7 or 14 nights, changeover day negotiable.
Prudie....done.....can we arrange contract of excambion ?
Ahhh, is yours a sulker too prudie? Annoyin' innit?
Better quiet than temper tantrums......
Unbelievably infuriating B00, just looking up excambion Murray..
Exchange prudie...
I can offer a slightly worn, tall, well built specimen with a full head of hair, own teeth, and can still eat without needing a bib. He has been compared to a younger Harrison Ford. Has a slight jowl which wobbles in a fetching manner when he laughs. He is slightly obsessive about The Who.....and tools. We now have THREE sheds (one the size of a small bungalow) to house his collection. His driving skills are questionable. He is a dab hand in the kitchen and bakes all our bread. He irons, and if you want tramlines in all your clothing, this is the man for you.
Will swap for a DUI drysuit (in red please).

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