Collection

[marval]

For several years, I lived in a squat.
I've had trouble standing upright ever since.


Went to the library today and asked have you got any books on mysterious disappearances?
The librarian said “Well, they used to be over there.


I went to the police station in a top hat, bow tie and flippers.
They said I should “make a statement”.


I killed a man with a beard today.
Looking back, it was a poor weapon choice.


I went on a skiing trip with a group of psychiatrists; I've never seen so many Freudians slip


I asked my teacher for advice when taking my math’s exam and he said that you should always read through the paper first.
That's the last time I listen to him. I was halfway through my horoscope when I heard, "Okay, pencils down."


What's the difference between a Kangaroo and a Kangaroot?
One's a kangaroo and one's a Geordie stuck in a lift.


I lent my friend a glue stick the other day instead of a chapstick.
She still isn't talking to me.


I was telling some sheep jokes the other day.
But none of them laughed and one just ran away going "baa."


I saw some tightrope walkers the other day.
What a weird flavour for a packet of crisps.


Did you know that the Bluetooth mobile headset was invented by a German man?
Hans Free.

[excelsior-1]

some very good ones there, marval

[rosyposy]

All good and all new to me -liked the kangaroo -geordie one best :o) -rosy

[Kiki-frog]

Tightrope Walkers .... I love it!

[starone]

All new and made me lol marval.