Lap Dancing Bars

[jd_1984]

Harmless, only a bit of fun and fairly non-sexual.
OR
Salacious, tacky and wrong??

(Ladies) if you found out your partner had visited one, is this grounds for a serious discussion, or worse, questioning his loyalty?

[boxtops]

I think they are seedy. It depends on the nature of the bar, though. My brother worked in a pub with a pole dancer some years back.

I wouldn't question OH's motives in going to one, but I might challenge him for wasting his money.

[EcclesCake]

The pole dancing club I went to wasn't particularly sleazy and my Husband wasn't bothered when I told him about my night out!

As long as the performers are treated fairly and there by choice I am happy for such clubs to continue.

[Mick-Talbot]

They can be either.

[Smowball]

If I could find the post I made about this last year I would show you but cant find it, Anbody else feel free to post it if you can see it.........

[jd_1984]

I only ask because my friend has just started dating a stirpper and I mentioned this to my partner, one thing led to another and it became a discussion about whether it is morally right for a man in a serious commited relationship to frequent these places. My argument was the stag do, one off occassions that you sometimes end up in a lap dancers bar, it happens.
I dont go to get any kind of gratification or to wish that I was actually having sex with the dancer. I think she has an insecurity about this. It isnt nice to imagine your partner being effectively humped by somebody else in a seedy bar. In all honesty, since meeting my partner I have not been to one, nor would I want to... but the time will come when I find myself in one ( 3 stag do's this year)

[NoMercy]

If my partner visited one by himself or lied about it, or spent an inexplicable sum of money in one, I would really take issue.

However, if he went out as part of a lads' night, I would be okay with that. Yes they are seedy but boys will be boys.

Chances are, the average male visitor will only pretend to be enjoying it so he doesn't look weird in front of his mates because if you're a heterosexual male not turned on by the site of a writhing, scantily clad, cosmetically enhanced little nymph, quite frankly you're a bit gay.

The average male will sit there with a big grin on his face whilst thinking [i]this is sh¡t, I want to go for a curry[i].

[Smowball]

Dont have a prob with the situations you are describing - stag do etc, but my hubby went further and paid for 'private sessions' in private room with one of the dancers, and I found out.

[jd_1984]

No Mercy knows a blokes mind!

[Sqad]

NoM..........LOL

[boxtops]

Oh yes, smowball, that would be the time for a discussion if that happened.

[jd_1984]

Smowball, yes, agreed that is grounds for a "talk".

[Smowball]

And more than once : (
Cant find the blooming post - it was late last summer I think

[doctordb]

I been twice with a group of mates and walked out both times. I found the collective letching uncomfortable. I'd much rather stay in a bar and chat to a woman than stare at one with a bunch of blokes.

[jd_1984]

I remember sitting in one and looking around at all the "sad, pathetic pervy blokes in the bar" and thinking, are they like me in thinking THEY are the cool ones and everyone else is sad?? There is a sad irony there....

[marval]

I misread the title, I thought it said Lap Dancing Bears. I would be ok if OH went to one as long as he told me about it.

[jd_1984]

Lap Dancing Bears.... LOL!! and now... a weird image!!!