How do I express the sound of 'one passing wind' in writting?

[Johnny blaze]

I haven't got a clue... and I realise to a certain degree the sound will vary depending on wether or not you've consumed a kebab, vindaloo or beans on toast.

Ultimately, I need the best representation in writting on how I can express the noise of a 'aromass back draft'.

Ps.. A two second one (just in case anybody asks).

Cheers

[Altosruleok]

Well, it rather depends on what the aforementioned backdraft was caused by.
Onions produce a bubbly "tttttrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhaaaaaah"
Parsnips make more of a "eeeeerrrkkkk"
Peas "PPPooooaaarrrrr"
and baked beans more of a "phhhhht"

I hope to receive a gratis copy of your first novel when it is published!!

[reddoggy]

I go along with the beans "phhhhht" only with an added "rrr" between the final "h" and "t". Gives a modicum of burble to the "phut" ;O)

[theo_wyvern]

are you writing a script or a book ?

script - i'd go with an action like JOHNY BREAKS WIND

book - try saying - At that point Johnny broke wind

Both ways you will get someone using their imagination - much better to let someone else do the work !

[searchme]

kebab = parp

vindaloo = paarrp

beanz = paaarrrpp

[Rubberduckie]

Could someone open the window, please?

[Ouisch]

brrraaaaaaappp!

[Johnny blaze]

I Think im getting to old too quickly. I was out this evening in central London with two sexy blonde girls. Yet strangly enough, I've found more entertainment within your replies to this question then I've had for a long time (like I said im getting old - 28 next month)

I think I will use the suggestions made by Searchme. Those suggestions had me folded over with laughter.

Altosruleok, thank you for your indepth study of the matter, however the suggestion was a little too long - I like the bubbly bit though.

reddoggy - thanks for your suggestion. I can see the thought that you put into this and its greatly appriciated - Third place im affraid. Without the 'r's in it, it would be a silent backdraft right?

theo_wyvern and Altosruleok. Thanks for your suggestions, im not writting either. call me charming, but im writting a letter to my ex girlfriend (I say no more).

Rubberduckie - People, there always has to be one in the class! :-)

Ouisch - SECOND PLACE! (very neary 1st) its just that seachme gave me several perfectly considered options.

I didnt think this was going to amusing as it is..

Anyway, thanks alot everyone.. gotta get back to this letter that im writting.

[dilligaf]

John Buchan in his book Greenmantle tell of some German soldiers sitting on a wooden bench f"*ting with great gusto."

It seems to cover all sounds.


As an 8 year old at school in 1952 during English it was my turn to stand in front of the class and read aloud from the book. It was unfortunate it was that page. The resulting laughter ended up with me having to write it 100 times.

[pagey]

Main Entry: break wind
Part of Speech: verb
Definition: pass gas
Synonyms: cut one, cut the cheese, fart, let her rip, rip one

[diddelyo]

who cares its all a load of crap anyway