Hideous moments of clarity

[Andy008]

I would be interested to know, if only to make me feel better, of anyone who has experienced a situation when they have been wondering about something, only for things to fall into place in sickening style?

3 years, the police smashed the door of my house down at 4am on an August bank holiday, dragged me out of bed, and arrested me on suspicion of "having hit some bloke round the head with a white metal pole".

The case was subsequently dropped, and I filed an unsucessful attempt at suing them. A mistake identity was confirmed. For a year afterwards, I wondered why I'd received such abrasive treatment at the police station, and why my solicitor was slightly offish. One afternoon I bumped into the case officer in the local Wetherspoons, I won't repeat what he said, but suffice to say I ran to the toilet, and was violently sick.

[{Dakota}]

My experience of a hideoous moment of clarity was when I was going through a bad patch with my now ex husband. It was a case of will they/won't they for a couple of years. We agreed we would give things another go and planned a holiday to give us time alone to rebuild our relationship. My ex husband works abroad and we had agreed to this when he was away and we would go on holiday upon his return. When he retured he was acting a bit odd, and he eventually told me he was still seeing the girl he'd met while out there. He told me he didn't know what he wanted, I was hopeful we would be OK and we went on holiday anyway. While we were there he was on the phone to this woman several times per day (infront of me) and STILL I was hopeful things would fall into place with us. One particular evening we were getting on really well, just like old times, and when we got back to out hotel room we started kissing and one thing led to another. While we were making love he suddenly stopped and said he could not "cheat on her" and he did not find me attractive. He left the room and went to the hotel bar. This was my hideous moment of clarity which led me to attempt to take my own life. The good thing to come out of all this was me finally facing up to the fact that we were not going to be the "happy couple" again and I moved on with my life. It took a while but I am happy again.

What did the case officer say??

[snook]

Andy 008, you really can't do this to us, it's not fair... what did he say??

(Okay, you don't have to be specific, I understand it's obviously very personal, but still, and leaving out anything that's too touch for you, take pity on us, we have to know.)

:o(

[irisred]

My hideous moment of clarity (one of many) I'd split up with my ex boyfriend but we'd remained close friends as we had the same group of friends. One night we all met in the pub and I'd made a special effort as I was really hoping that me and the ex could try again. He looked pretty good also and smelt really good. So me being me told him.

"hmmmm, you smell great" said I.

"Yeah, thought I'd make an effort, I've got a date later."

And at that point the bottom fell out of my world. Where I thought we'd been getting on well because he, like me, wanted to get back together was in fact him being nice to me to, and I quote, "soften the blow."

Suffice it to say we don't really speak to each other anymore. Oh and he married the girl he went on the date with!

Andy - you have to tell us somehow what was said!!

[saffyj]

i was 14 and my first boyfriend had dumped me.heartbroken i was, so when i heard a rumour that he would consider getting back with me i felt on a wonderful high.there was hope!!!love would find a way after all!

the same afternoon i was due in the tech labs and he was in the science labs further down the hill.i asked a friend of his to ask him in science if he was going to ask me out again.i gave this friend strict instructions to discreet ly give me the answer as he walked past the tech labs by either nodding or shaking his head as i would look out the window and see him walking by( i had a double period in tech)

when the first hour was up, the friend, my ex and about 20 other classmates did walk by the window and at least ten of them were shaking their heads......i was mortified, that old sinking feeling certainly applied that day.i hadnt just been rejected, but in public too, and at that terrible teenage stage as well...

still makes me cringe!

still, good thing is i still see the ex now and again 20 years later and he sure isnt no oil painting now.... life is great :-)

[Vics]

Andy Andy Andy.....Perhaps you would make a good script writer as you seem to be making a habit of leaving us all in the lurch by telling us only half of the situation. Didn't your last post miss out the important bit as to what was getting you down.

What has happened to you sounds awful and unjust. Others experiences will not help (no disrespect to them)I feel as they are mainly to do with love and they can hopefully look back and laugh - yours in a way is far more serious as it had criminal implications.

In the absence of you saying what it is I am assuming something along the lines of the man they were looking for had raped or assaulted children - it is usually this that receives contempt from police, solicitors and other inmates.

However, whatever it was at least you were then able to link that to why you were treated badly. This happened 3 years ago Andy - with the revelation 2 years ago. I know it must have been awful - but please try to find a way of trying to forget about it and move on. I assume from your question that this whole issue still preys on your mind.

[Postdog]

Yeah, talking helps, so what was said? Please!!!

[jno]

Dakota I'm glad to hear you pulled through that bad moment - but I wonder if you actually drew the right conclusion from it? Seems pretty clear from what you say that he was worthless, not you. You were no more than optimistic, and that's not something anyone ought to punish themselves for. From your posts, I suspect you're still an optimist. Good for you, and I'm glad you're happy.

[{Dakota}]

Thanks JNO, yes, I am a natural optimist and thank you for showing me another way of looking at the whole situation.

I am very happy now JNO, and even met a man who loves me for who I am and accepts my insecurities (they rear their ugly head now and then). He came out of a bad relationship around the same time as I did and for the horrors we each went through, it would seem that there was some benefit to them in that we each have lessons learned, which makes our relationship strong.

Thanks JNO, you made me all warm and fuzzy there! xx