plenty more fish in the sea?

[scrumpy78]

having a bad day, about fifteen minutes ago my now ex came and removed all his stuff from my house now he has split up with me. i'm never good at goodbye's, am emotional now. anyway, are there more fish in the sea? or are they tired, old slimy ones been caught too many times with damaged mouths / personalities / bank balances etc etc. also, what do i do now? thank heavens for answerbank - someone tell me what to do for the next 24 hours / week or so and i will oblige........

[andyjevs]

It's such a hard question to answer. There are no magic wands i'm afraid.
I have been there....i was with my now ex-wife for 7 years, we got married in Barbados and 6 weeks after getting wed, she told me it was all over.
I threw myself into my family and friends, joined a gym and generally went anywhere i could which avoided being home on my own.

Within 10 months, i'd met my present wife and we've been togeth 12 years this year and have a lovely 7 year old daughter.

I would always say there's plenty more fish in the sea....but don't go looking for it, it will find you. Do something constructive in the evenings.......go to a dance class, go to the gymn, go swimming, go to evening school and learn a new trade/hobby etc etc

I really wish you the best of luck.....things will get better but you will have down days and up days. Try to think positive and put your energy into something constructive.

Andy

[BriWrite]

Its good to turn to friends at a time like this Scrumpy, but i guess most of them are attached. In the short term pamper yourself a little, get a bottle of your favourite tipple, run a hot bath and just relax. Think of all the things you can do now, that were'nt possible before due to having to consider your ex. Get out when you can and DONT sit at home moping. YES there are other fish in the sea, theres one for you out there even if you have to work your way through a few slimy ones first. So chin up girl we have all been there, its not the end of the world although it may seem like it for while, think positive and good luck.

[saffyj]

both answers great so far.wish i had answerbank when it happened to me.the most important thing to realise is you're going to have to go through the grieving process.if you accept that, you wont be distraught when you wake up one morning and feel great.the next day you're back to square one.it s an old cliche but time is a great healer.dont go looking for someone else to distract you, it will only prolong you getting over your ex.give yourself 6 months, 6 months to take up a hobby, lose weight, learn from your mistakes, so that when you do finally meet someone interesting , you have no emotional baggage lurking that might jeopardise a potentially great new relationship.oh, and talk to someone about it, whenever you need to, even if it means using this site.there are lots of people out there in the same position.good luck and be strong :-)

[Englishbird]

The best thing I did was not have any contact with him for three months after we split up. It took a lot longer to get over it, but those initial 3 months allowed me a clean break and to get over the awful trauma as quickly as possible, rather than dragging it out. Delete his number from your mobile if you can. Go out, do things you would never have done when you were with him, do things you've always wanted to do, maybe things you weren't allowed to, if that applys.

After a while my friend talked me into going on to a dating website, the main thing it did initially was amaze me just how many single people are out there. we always feel as though we're the only ones!!

You WILL be ok. I promise! It wasn't meant to be with this man in your life, the right one is out there waiting, take the time on your own to really find out who you are, what you want and live your life. There are no certainties in any relationship, and you have to have a life of your own to live and enjoy. Then if the right man comes along and can share it then so much the better.

Good luck, it'll all be ok. I'm now two years on from breaking up with the man I thought was the love of my life. And despite not having met the right person yet, it is now crystal clear to me that he was never it. I am a much happier person.

[tigga]

sorry for the short answer but you said it yourself - of course there are plenty of fish in the sea ! and on top of that its saturday night, put your gladrags on and go out bathing !!

[Sweet cheeks]

I would do it slightly differently. I would indulge myself for no more than three days..... the chocolate,..... soppy movies... bubble baths...seventeen bottles of wine and twenty five boxes of tissues, and then very carefully, pick yourself up and present yourself to the world as you again and go and do all the things that you have been putting off until you had five minutes to yourself. There is no miracle cure, but there are plenty more fish in the sea!!!! Just be gentle with yourself and enjoy!!!!!!!

[qapmoc]

I am sorry that this is way off subject but your ''plenty of fish in the sea'' is totally wrong and way behind the times, the real seas are becoming like a desert, over 80% of the large fish are now gone from all the worlds oceans and what is left is declining rapidly.

[Vics]

Good answer qapmoc. And actually no it is not way off the subject - it is quite pertinent !!!! Perhaps nowadays we should alter the phrase to don't worry.... there are some fish in the sea left. As this applies equally well to the state of surplus men !!- as Scrumpy implies - there are a lot of weeds, tangles, debris, plankton out there but to find an actual decent fish (man) is becoming quite difficult !!!!

I'm sure there are 2 out there for us though Scrumpy. Good Luck - you have had some really nice answers which should hopefully make you feel that we are all thinking of you.

[lb24]

I also wonder the same thing scrumpy, all the nice ones seem to be hiding away somewhere. But i believe that there's someone out there for everyone. You can't go looking for them though, they just turn up one day. I also think if a relationship doesn't work out it was meant to be that way and that there's someone even better to come, you just haven't met him yet. There's lots of us in the same boat. Try to start some new hobbies/keep yourself busy/hang out with friends as much as poss. Good luck! :)

[bondy]

loads more fish. Don't look back keep going forward!!