Ab Agony Aunt

[mrs_overall]

Naomi has nominated me to be the in house agony aunt and by coincidence I have received several letters from AB'er seeking advice
I will let you peruse ne and let YOU give advice.

1. Dear Mrs O
I am in a new relationship with the woman of my dreams. Should I come clean about my past love life which involved several haylofts and sheep pens?
Yours faithfully
M. Raker

[emmie]

dear alba, i am in a quandary, i appear to have logged onto a website that has strange people in it, discussing sheep, entrails and all sorts of hanky panky, do i need help..

[EDDIE51]

What do you call a Welshman with a sheep under each arm ?

A Pimp.

[emmie]

or ram bo..

[moonraker558]

If you need help Em I'm yer man.

[emmie]

won't your ever loving be upset, i ain't messing with no woman in a hairnet..

[albaqwerty]

Dear Em,
You are normal. Pull up a chair and sip a cuppa tea or something stronger when everything else will then make perfect sense.

Dear Eddie,
Thought the Welsh liked to keep that to themselves 'cos they don't like sharing.
(or should that be shearing?)

[moonraker558]

We have a understanding relationship Em.

[moonraker558]

Eddie, I would have said lucky.

[DTCwordfan]

Dear Mrs O or Deputy Alba,

Could you please inform Mr. M. Raker to say off the grass.

That way, the sheep will not spoil the village green and we will also not have that problem of the slimy yoghurt that has been besetting us, the source of which we do not know, but we believe it is tied to the presence of the sheep for when they are not there, we have no problem. It is also driving the dogs of the village mad.

Mayor Ovis (Aries - by the way).

[emmie]

the last bloke to tell me he had an understanding with his missus ended up in A&E, not guilty yer honour..

[moonraker558]

Where is TT when I need her...

Gonna have to put more work in training her I guess.

[albaqwerty]

Dear Mayor Hovis,
It's the grass wot keeps him as sane as he is, the poor soul.He has been petitioning your chambers to legalise it for some time allegedly.
It's the dried stuff in between his ears which is causing some problems with the sheep on the village green.

[Psybbo]

Major Ovaries????

[albaqwerty]

who said that?

[moonraker558]

Not me yer honour.

[moonraker558]

Got to go now playmates I will catch up with tt later.

The word for tomorrow is...........Gusset.

[albaqwerty]

Gussets for a Saturday eh?
Interesting.....

ttfn Moonie xx :-)

[Ann]

LOL@ this funny thread :))
I have read it all and think the best answer (if it was up to me!) is Chrisgel and the unwanted leg at 11.48 ...... and agony aunt Mrs O's reply about the leg at 13.20 - both made me really laugh ..... the rest of you lot are SO witty, I can't possibly compete.