Abuse

[Coobeastie]

Am i the only one who is sick and tired of only hearing about men beating up women. The current campaigns all are based on the husband/male being the evil doer.

Men can be victims aswell (my next door neighbour used to get beaten black and blue by his wife).

How can we have any idea of how bad this situation is when the percieved situation is that there must be something wrong with you as a man if you take a beating from a women. How many men are afraid to come forward for fear of ridicule.

[Coobeastie]

Before I get any posts. I agree with the message being put accross it's just that a less biased one would be nice.

[joko]

...er...of course you are not the only one!!!

i agree with your point, its just a much less common situation.

An ex boyfriend attacked me once - and i battered him. and to everyone i was the baddie because they could see his bruises and swollen lip etc, they figured he mustn't have hit me because my face wasn't damaged but as is often the case the damage is under the clothes. go figure.

(btw - he wasn't generally a violent person or a bully - this was a one off moment of madness, and i don't think he had ever done it before or since)

[Drusilla]

I think all cases of domestic violence should be campaigned against and I think the campaigns are presented in this way because about 90% of cases reflect male violence against women.
I do agree with your point though. Campaigns for males suffering should also be highlighted, as should the invisible cases like lesbian violence against their partners, gay men who are beaten by their boyfriends and also the most ignored of all; parents who are beaten by their own children.

[Lonnie]

Of course husband beating goes on, afraid I don't think much of your attitude coolbeastie, the problem is, in general, men are physically stronger than women, and a lot refrain from violence because of the harm they are likely to inflict, and don't report it because they feel ashamed to admit a woman has beaten them, and i'm sure there's a lot of men out there who would agree that a man should never hit a woman, i'm one of them, but from your post, i'd say that your not.

[Ward-Minter]

If a man is beaten by a woman, lets face it he deserves to be beaten. What a wuss.

[Coobeastie]

Lonnie. I'm sorry that my post has given you that impression. Thats not what i mean, and i don't agree with violence in any form. My partner has just read my original post and also can't see where you get the idea that i am pro wife beating.

I just think that instead of these campaigns singling out men as the agressor they should say that any form of violence will not be tolerated as Drusilla mentions.

Yours and ward minters reply sort of proves my point. With those kind of attitudes (men are stronger / must be a wuss) is it any wonder that men don;t come forward when they are attacked. With that in mind how do we know its a small problem.

My partner is trained in martial arts and could break everybone in my body if she wanted to.

[Oneeyedvic]

The Sun did have a big campaign about this when Alex Best hit George Best - said it was domestic violence, that it was terrible, that alcohol wasn't an excuse etc etc etc.

But of course, they didn't mention the words 'domestic violence' when Rebeccah Wade (editor of the Sun) assaulted Ross Kemp in their home after a drunken night.

[Lonnie]

Coolbeastie, i've just reread your post, and I have to apoligise, I missed the 'percieved', and got the wrong connotation. to explain, I was brought up in the fifties, when the norm was for women to be the homemaker, and men to provide and watch out for them, I may be a bit of a Dinasaur, but it is the attitude I still have, which is why I replied the way I have.

[mimififi]

It's not just physical abuse either. I know a few men who are, frankly, bullied by their wives. Emotional abuse from women toward their husbands i think is probably far more common than we realise. We only hear about it, perhaps, when the "worm turns" (so to speak) and he can't take anymore, and lashes out, although in the majority of cases, they never do.

All forms of domestic violence/abuse regardless of who the victim/perpetrator is should be targeted, but it is true that in the majority of cases it is husbands against wives. This however should be allowed to overshadow the minority victims.

Everyday, I just think what a sad, sad world we live in. SOmetimes I feel as though my heart is going to break.

[claireyfairy]

I have to say the way that the majority of newspapers took the mick out of ross kemp and steve mcfadden when they were both hit by their partners was appalling. I agree that no man should hit a woman. But lets get something else clear. NO WOMAN SHOULD HIT A MAN EITHER. Both men and woman have the capacity to inflict pain on each other so this whole, men are physically stronger than women is a load of rubbish. I mean if a woman hit a man who was physically stronger than her and he hit her back, in self defence, who do yuo think would be seen to be the bad one. Him, because he's "physically stronger". So does that mean a man that is being beaten by a woman has to just take the beating until the woman gets bored or tired?

[joko]

clairy fairy - I think thats what everyone has said isn't it??

[eupraxia]

I caught something that made me think on an Itv talk show this morning. The guy questioning a man about his wife battering him had the nerve to say ' you bring it on by winding her up'. Would he have said the same thing if it was the other way round. I think not.