Scared And Reluctant To Go To Church?

[PinkLavender]

My family are devoted Christians, but I struggle with it too much and don't want part in the religion. Of course, my parents give me no choice in this. Tomorrow they're supposed to be baptized. Me and my brother have to go whether we want to or not. The problem is, Churches scare me. I'm afraid that if I go to one I will get some sort of panic attack or just burst out crying in the middle of it all. I really don't want to go, but my parents are giving me absolutely not choice in the matter.

I also can't tell my parents about my feelings on Christianity, because I once told them I had no interest and they shrugged, telling me I still had no choice going to church or taking part in "church-related activities".

I have brought up that pressuring me into this might push me further away from the religion, but they still don't care.

Anyway, I am SO stressed out about tomorrow and already I cannot stop crying at the thought of going to church.

What do I do?

[pastafreak]

I wouldn't show them these replies-the parents are in the right as far as they are concerned-and there is nothing that will sway them in their opinions. Also-showing them this could make more trouble for Pink...they could forbid her internet access.
Maybe trying some breathing techniques will at least help you get through the panic you feel.
http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/MentalHealthSelfCare/Anxiety-ControllingPanicAttacks

[sara3]

go to church, and think about having a tattoo of PinkLavender on your backside!

[China Doll]

At 17, if it was a special occasion like a baptism then I'd go. But other than that I just wouldn't go. Is it likely that your parents are going to physically drag you kicking and screaming to church? If not, then stand your ground and just don't go.

[wildwood]

What sort of parents do you have if they force you to go to church when you don't want to??? At 17 they should not rule your life to that extend. I presume that you've already conveyed your feelings and fear to your parents so, if you can, play up in church; play a radio or start singing country & western songs, or generally do anything/excessive coughing to upset the service.

[pastafreak]

^^^ That's a tad immature...something a 3 year old might do. Why should she 'play up' on a day that is obviously of great importance to her parents?
She may be uncomfortable,she may not agree with her parents beliefs-but respect can still be shown.
I hope Pink is managing with the advice she's been given.

[modeller]

Good luck today , enjoy your secret giggle and your hidden chocolates.
Sing your favourite songs in your head. Remember they can't control your thoughts. Put words to a song in your mind like rubbbish, rubbish , rubbish ...................................... Anything in fact to take you away mentally from the church. Treat it as a fun day .

[jim360]

It might be something you'll have to cope with until your parents feel you are old enough to make your own decision. How about trying to take something to do with you? Paper to write or draw on, book to read, that sort of thing.

For a day that is special to your parents I think it's worth making an effort to respect their choice. Time may come when there is something you want your parents to attend, but they don't like it. Even so they'd probably come and see you anyway. So this once you should do likewise. To cope, you could try some of the ideas mentioned already, or perhaps something I've suggested. Is there an opportunity perhaps for an extended trip to "the toilet" or somewhere within the church you could go to escape?

[jomifl]

Take on the role of an observer in the church, not only will this help detach you from the proceedings but you will get some insight into the moral blackmail and hypnosis by repetition methods used by evangelical religion. There are more ways than one of crucifying a messiah

[mibn2cweus]

//^^^ That's a tad immature...something a 3 year old might do. Why should she 'play up' on a day that is obviously of great importance to her parents?//

The parents should aspire to act like 3 year olds.

Tell them you'd like to be baptised too and then turn the water green . . . or brown even. >}:^)>

No child (or adult for that matter) should be required to pander or acquiesce to such irrational and frankly immature behaviour from those who are supposed to provide the example of rational mature behaviour.

No wonder this makes you sick!

[idiosyncrasy]

I know you have an obligation to obey your parents if you are living in the same house. But at 17, you also have the right to express your own opinion. Can you not sit down with them and discuss this? Explain how you feel but that you do appreciate their beliefs.

[modeller]

//Can you not sit down with them and discuss this? Explain how you feel but that you do appreciate their beliefs. //

I would say it's gone way beyond that stage. She's already said:
//I once told them I had no interest and they shrugged, telling me I still had no choice going to church or taking part in "church-related activities".//
They are not open to discussion.
I do find your comment // The problem is, Churches scare me. // difficult to understand . It is only a building to represent a fantasy world , but I can see it is symbolic of your relationship with your parents. Try to see it as a make believe castle where some people sing silly songs and mutter in
monotones. Above all remember it is make believe , it is all in their minds.

Do tell us how you got on , its all over , the world didn't come to an end . PinkLavender our thoughts are for you.

[Old_Geezer]

I can only suggest you look up some anti stress exercises and try to reach a frame of mind where you don't "freak out". Personally I used to find it all a bore, but have difficulty understanding why one would find it so stressful. Take a deep breath when feeling stressed, it helps "chill you out" a bit.