Do things your partner do frustrate you?

[sammd]

Do things your partner do frustrate you or is this just part of a relationship? Things like being untidy, being late, being forgetful, etc. If things they do annoy you is the relationship doomed or does this happen with everyone? I'd particularly like to ask those in long-term relationships or who are married. Thanks for any answers.

[Lonnie]

I doubt theirs any partnership/marriage where one not niggled at some point by what the other does. Its up to you really, how much you want to be with them, there are things my wife does, (she can't put things away neatly, clothes etc), and I know theirs things I do that niggles her, eg, she's a vegetarian, i'm not, but we'er still together in a loving relationship after twentysix years, but any patnership has to be worked at, if both aren't prepared to do that, its doomed from the start.

[rachaelersk]

I ask myself the same question over and over and when i chat with friends they are all the same and think the same. I wonder why i ever got married some times but would never be without my beloved. We have been together 10 years and i am constantly miffed by things he does or does not do. This just seems to be part of relationships, some people thhough will never admit to this. Hope this helps. Oh and also he feels the same about me too. We have been together 10 years and married 8 and have a lovely life together with our two children and all in all are thoroughly happy.....today! ha ha

[noxlumos]

I drive my wife nuts and she drives me nuts on a daily basis. She is heinously laid back, forgets to tell me important things ( like 6 members of an American band will be sleeping on our floor for a week bc they had all their money stolen) I just came in and there was sleeping bag city on the lounge floor.She's "artistic" so makes no sense at all most of the time and thinks that a tidy house is the sign of a wasted life.I on the other hand irritate the hell out of her because once something occurs to me I have to get it done there and then and I'm "unnaturally" tidy she says.BUT I wouldn't be without her, she makes the sun shine in my day and I love her to distraction. We've known each other for 20 years and have been together as a couple for 9.If you love each other it doesn't matter, you even get quite fond of each other's little character quirks after a bit, but it does take abit of effort sometimes.

[gilby]

The one thing that really irritates me is keeping the tv remote. We watch tv in an evening and just as it is getting to a really great part of a programme, he switches it to teletext for the football results!!!!!!!! how irritating!! then by the time he switches it back, the programme has ended!

Any other women have this problem??

[lady_p_gold]

The remote is the same as a red sports car if you get my drift ! To answer the question I would say it is universal .. however it is the way that it annoys you that counts. If it is an annoyance but in a loving framework that is one thing, if you find it is more than frustration and it turns into utter contempt then that is another. By the way, even if your relationship fails and you marry again then you trade one set of annoyances for another !

[sammd]

gilby - try hiding the remote somewhere near you! ;)

[gilby]

sammd... I have hidden the remote, I have confiscated the remote and I have even taken the batteries out before now..... We always have a laugh about it but he always seems to win.I get my own back though.... I make him watch big brother!! ha ha

[shaneystar2]

This is a fact of life.No two people are the same and it always amuses me when you see or read about couples who have been married for fifty years "And never had a cross word" ! I have been married for thirty four years and I would be a liar if I said nothing about my husband annoys me or vice versa.If you love someone you jog along and accept their funny little ways for what they are.......funny little ways!
.Mind you if anyone can explain to me why...men who have retired seem to feel the need to rearrange tins in cupboards or guard the dishwasher with their lives I would be very pleased!

[sense4all]

Ladies.. ladies do not be defeated by the remote situation .What you need is a friend with a sense of humour and a sky set top box. Go to a top electrical bits store Maplins for example buy a sky remote control and with your friends help programme the tv part to the frequency of your own television. Hide behind the sofa click it once the first hour and then enjoy yourself with a few more clicks at smaller intervals as the evening progresses. Much more fun and cheaper than a night out - they just do not expect you to be so cunning, if you do it correctly you can watch them shake your telly remote , change the battery, look for illogical forms of interference ...... fandabydozy. ( You must come clean before the end of the evening incase they order a really expensive new remote the next day)

[BigMac]

Why has no-one mentioned toothpaste yet?

I've grown to accept the fact that I'll never change my partner's habit of squeezing the tube in the middle (rather than the correct way, from the bottom) but WHY oh WHY is it impossible to replace the cap????

[lavi_pp]

i completely agree with big mac...my problem is he leaves the kitchen dirty..but i look at the postives as well..the times he dirties it...he's most lovingly cooked a meal for me..then he also almost everyday forgets to tell me about the important phone calls and the bills that we need to pay..but i try and remember that everytime i come home tired and he's forgotten all this he gives me a tight hug and I let go my anger...that's part of life ...Bad habits die hard..i've learnt this ...i've been living in with him for 4years and have accepted his negatives and focus on positives coz that's what will make ur relationship strong...All of us have some irritatiting traits and habits in us..no ones perfect..As long as we love a person....life is beautiful

[Supermog]

My wife's foibles, ah, there are many. Among them, her habit of continually talking to me of things that don't matter, or that I cannot reslve; but she keeps secret her plans, such as sending money to scammers, for psychic help, for money-making schemes (that make money for them, not her.

Her answer to a shortage of money, a new credit card to pay another account. This eventually led to a �37k debyt.

Now she wants to give our house to a finance company, in exchange for the right to live in it for the rest of her life.

She refuses to accept that it is a recipe for disaster to try to learn an optional second language, though she has a below par knowledge of English, because she has very poor hearing.

[diana.m]

You can decide to let any insignificant thing annoy you or just say cest la vie and move on because you only upset yourself and its easy to change yourself than it is to change others. Yes, my husband has annoying habits, leaves is trousers in the lounge instead of disrobing upstairs, he is very untidy yet he is hygenic in many other ways. He would never leave his dirty shoes on kitchen table and clean them as my Dad does, he washes dishes well and he rarely farts or burps, so I suppose I'm saying count your blessings. Its wether hes a good person or not that matters, not what annoying habits he has got.

[bexbex78]

At the end of the day, relationships would be boring if we didn't have these 'niggles'. No two people can co-exist without arguing/getting on each other's nerves occasionally, and anyone who tells you they do are either lying or strange. My partner and I have been together for 8 years and there was times when I thought I'd have a nervous breakdown! We worked through it and now we are very happy. Remember, relationships are like work - you need to put alot of effort into them to make them work - but when they do you can be very, very happy.

[Otrere]

Yep, my husband does the squeezing the toothpaste in the middle thing, he REALLY winds me up by hanging his ironed shirts on the curtain rail, he is lazy, forgetful etc. but he loves me and I love him, and I damned sure I do things that annoy the hell out of him, its all part and parcel.

Nobody has the perfect relationship.

There are more things about each other that we love, than things about each other that annoy us, so those annoying things are forgiveable.

[fatbjork]

Hi sammd, i wonder if this phrase that someone has given me could help in moments of frustration "change will come when the feeling of misery is greater than the fear of the unknown"... ie you will know when you can't take anymore. i am heartened by everyone's acceptance and love towards their partners. good luck.

[apex204]

My partner and I frustrate the hell out of each other pretty much solidly. We have a system because we both hate chores - I cook, he washes up. I tidy up, he does the laundry and the ironing (sounds like I have it cushty, don't it?)

Oh no. Whoa, sweet Jesus no. The laundry situation in my flat is nothing short of cataclysmic. I'm embarrassed to have friends over, as he will not do any washing for 3 weeks solidly, and when all the dirty laundry has entirely consumed the spare bedroom, he then seperates the laundry into washloads - neat little piles - and then leaves it in the hallway! So any friends or visitors who come over (or basically anyone who can see through our front door) can see all my pants, dirty jeans, smelly T-shirts and so on. He will then spend 3 weekends solidly washing and ironing, moaning miserably that he has a bad back because he's been stood ironing for approx 16 hours at a time.

The washing up ****** me off too - all he has to do is load the dishwasher, but again this is an apparently difficult and time-consuming task.

Ladies, a solution to the toothpaste situation: Colgate do solid tubes of toothpaste, and all you do is push a little trigger at one end, which pops out a perfectly pea-sized blob of paste. Perfect!

[Bohne]

Of course certain things are frustrating...

But I know he does not do things ESPECIALLY TO frustrate me, that is the big difference. Things just have different values to him than they do to me.

And vice versa.

And I would not see our relationship doomed for that. It just takes a little understanding, that's all!