Advice Needed On Caring For An Elderly Poorly Mum!

[piphas4legs]

My elderly Mum is coming out of hospital next week and I would welcome and advice, comments etc, Does any know pricing of Nursing homes or care homes, should we get social services involved? Any tips on how to cope if we take her home! She had been living with my sister but we're not sure if we're going to cope after this hospital visit...

[murraymints]

Hospital will put are plan in place before discharge...you will be asked to attend meeting to discuss...

[murraymints]

A care plan....

[ummmm]

Yes, phone social services and they will give you all the info you need and also what benefits she might be entitled to.

Nursing homes/care homes are about £500 a week.

[AlwaysConfused]

What are her needs? Do you work, etc? Are you physically capable of looking after her? You may be able to get additional help, but not knowing any details, including what ailments she has makes a response a little restrictive.

[murraymints]

A care plan will include social services input as well as benefits advice district nurses call care etc....

[piphas4legs]

Hi Mark thanks for replying, all started in February with a blocked bowel, went for a emergency hernia repair, been a nightmare since then. in and out of hospital with scar tissue blockages, she gets so distended and then vomits faecal matter! she couldn't wee so they put in a catheter in and somewhere at that point developed a UTI, I could go on and on, this last hospital visit they think they can also see a "mass"on the kidney. We have a meeting with medical team and occupation therapists on Monday so my sisters and I are going to have a pow pow before we go. Mum is 86 and was living at home with my younger sister and her family and all was well until now, sis runs a very busy business so keeps very busy and is willing to try and cope having her home again but for some reason seems reluctant to have social services involved, we had also been employing two private ladies prior to Feb to get meals etc but now we've got catheter in, wearing full "nappy" for bowel movement, she's very weak, lost a lot of weight, cant eat lumpy food, sometimes doest eat for two days, is hard work trying to get her to take liquids etc My elder sister and I think if we take her home we're going to need two of us during the day!

[piphas4legs]

Oh I am silly, there is no-one called Mark, Doh!!

[murraymints]

Pip ..just caught you before I go....had very similar probs with FIL..I was his full time carer..Alzheimer's ,cancer with complications......I understand the reluctance to involve social services..however they can fast track adaptations equipment etc if you go for home care..also can arrange the type of care you've been paying for......it's a huge commitment ..I am comparatively young healthy and did not have children at home to consider....lack of sleep..tied to house meals everything really arranged around the sick one....think long and hard...consider ALL options ..and accept ALL help....for our own sanity and good health..best of luck to you all...

[piphas4legs]

bless you, thanks for such a lovely reply, have a good day!

Anybody else got anything to tell/know keep it coming for today, thanks!

[woofgang]

can't say it any better than murray has.

[piphas4legs]

Thanks, it was a good post! but im still willing to read more.....

[Rosetta]

Yes, get a Social Worker who will co-ordinate the assessment of your mums needs and discuss the options for her care with you all. There might be a social work dept in the hospital, and the ward staff can refer her. Ask about rehab for her if it seems appropriate, in my area they have some 'Step-down beds' in a local nursing home where staff, physios etc help to improve things like mobility. She sounds like she needs to be 'strengthened' up with some good nutrition, are the hospital on top of this? The social worker will know what is available in your area as there are variations. I hope all goes well for her, and the family.

[piphas4legs]

Thank you Rosetta. Much appreciated, I've made some notes.

[Goodsoulette]

What is her mobility like? This is really pretty key in where she should go, it sounds like she is doubly incontinent. She'll be entitled to an attendance allowance, but CHC may fund a package of care at home. so you could have her at home and they may fund carers to come in 2,3 or 4 times a day. Occupational health can adapt things at home. It is a massive responsibility. Like the others have said social services need to speak to her and you about the possibilities.
Occy health are really good though, if you want her home they really do help facilitate it. However, nursing homes aren't all doom and gloom, 500 quid for a nursing home is very cheap btw, that would be a block bed price for nursing care (which your mum will no doubt be assessed for), privately that 500 quid room would be nearer 800. Anything around the 1000 mark but when you consider what is given, its a drop in the ocean im afraid.

Good luck x

[piphas4legs]

Thank you, been at hospital talking for many hours today but still not sure what the outcome will be but we have started the "care package" ball rolling. good night all i'm exhausted.