Does This Poem Make Sense So Far? Thanks For The Comments Folks.

[bob68k]

Its not finished yet. Just wanted to see if its okay so far.
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Raw lucidity in the clouds
stretched like a linen cape;
I strode beside the apricot vines
spotted with ragged light

nearby the iron trees
he spoke about my mother
whose death occurred before I reached three
at a Florentine loft in summer

my father never accepted my mothers suicide
unleashed wreckage like a rain (more to come)

[factor-fiction]

It just seems like a random selection of sentences to me, bob, but everyone has different ideas about poetry so some people will think it's good.
A minor point is that there is an apostrophe missing on mothers .
In fact the last two lines make no sense to me as they stand.

[factor-fiction]

It's not changed much since March
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130318180936AAUG72J

[Canary42]

I prefer this March version

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Arts-and-Literature/Question1224925.html

[boxtops]

The third verse isn't finished but it doesn't scan with the others

[woofgang]

asking if a poem is okay is like asking what blue smells like. Does it satisfy you?