Commodity Jokes?

[Spoonboy]

I don't know how long this one will be here, but we will try it for luck...

By commodity jokes, I am thinking on the lines of:
Q. What is black and comes out of the ground at 90mph shouting knickers? A. Crude oil.
And, Q. What comes out of the ground at 90mph shouting underpants? A. Refined oil.

Do you have any jokes of the like?

Thanks in advance.

[Georgiesmum]

Q. How much is a ladies leg worth?
A. Half a nicker (knicker)

[maggiebee]

NEW - Different colour from previous design.

ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.

EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.

UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.

FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.

ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.

IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.

FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.

HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.

FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.

REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.

DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor.

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.

BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it.

MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.

MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.

SOLID-STATE - Heavy as hell.

LESS FATTENING - Now doesn't have the same fat content as pig stomach lining.

HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it.

NON-REFUNDABLE - We couldn't make it work long enough to ship it.

FAT FREE - You pay for the food, but the fat is free.

[Spoonboy]

I like the fat free one maggiebee. And, yes, georgiesmum, I got it. Both very amusing.

[Spoonboy]

I expected more. Never mind, well done to the both of you. And thank you.