Question For Ladies

[Scarlett]

Would you be flattered if a man told you he really fancied you and would like to have some no-strings sex but has no intention of a relationship. If you fancied him, would you go for this arrangement? Would you be able to NOT fall for him, and want more from the relationship?!

[2sp_]

I'd prefer a bloke was upfront in saying that he didn't want a relationship rather than leading me on with hearts and flowers just to get his leg over.

In my experience, we were both honest about what we wanted. In fact, if memory serves me right, I was the one to broach the subject (after a few drinks!). We both thought about it for a while and it was then me that moved it forward.

Nobody was lying or cheating. Nobody was betrayed or under any illusions.

[EcclesCake]

I agree with Islasmum and 2SP, it's no big deal if it works for you.

Friends with benefits/fcuk buddies work well for many, many people.

I'm not sure I'd appreciate the approach in the OP though, a bit too clinical.

[mrs_overall]

Right, where are the tar and feathers?

Only joking. If it works for you, go for it

[MadMen]

I think that was my reason for saying "no way jose", too. The OP makes it sounds like a business deal...

I just think it's easier for the guy because, more often than not, it's the women that let their emotions get the better of them and end up falling in love - which will always end in tears!

If I was younger, I would probably say yes, but not at this point in my life. I would just feel used.

[grasscarp]

I just feel that the question posed here - about the other person saying they have "no intention of a relationship" would mean to me they liked the look of me but not so much so that they could ever love me, so would be a definite no no. Am I snow white? No I am not but have only ever embarked on something where a relationship (of sorts) was part of it.

[Octavius]

I know for many of us alcohol loosens our morals (men included, but it takes less!) but even a one night stand has less promise than this proposal, and often without much conversation at all. The poor guy in the OP has just said too much!

[naomi24]

I would - but Mrs.O has already claimed George Clooney, so I'm not interested now.

[Octavius]

Yep even back in the day, there's not many who would have turned down this hunk.

http://pics.blameitonthevoices.com/012010/george_clooney_as_a_kid.jpg

[mrs_overall]

Dear lord. What a horrible photo

[2sp_]

Wowzers, he was a beaut as a kid.

Who knew he would grow into the hottie he is now?

[mrs_overall]

2sp, keep your hands off him you trollop. He is mine I tell you, mine!

[2sp_]

lol @ "trollop" Mrs O!

Not heard that word for ages. My Granny used to use it to describe any female that showed her ankle in public.

[vodkancoke]

I'll be totally honest, if I was single, and he was single then why not? I do have a "friends with benefits" situation with a male friend and we have had this set-up for a few years. It works for us. We both know, there will never be a full-on relationship (I couldn't live with him, he would drive me bonkers!)

If you think you might develop feelings for him, it's maybe best to leave it or you will end up being the one who gets hurt. You might also want to tell this guy to re-phrase his lovely offer! ;)

[Scarlett]

vodkancoke- So, if he started seeing a girl or showed interest in someone else, would you honestly not feel any jealousy at all? Or would you be matter of fact about your arrangement ending?

[vodkancoke]

It doesn't bother me and hasn't bothered me in the past when it has happened. If it ends, it ends. We know there is no relationship there. You kind of have to make that clear at the start.

[bednobs]

2sp (and scarlett) i don't think anyone is commenting on your morals for having/condsidering a friends with benefits arrangement, just that it is not all that flattering to be asked in that manner

[MichaelZZ]

I know this is a question for the ladies but I thought I'd present something from a an untypical(?) man's perspective.
When I had a "friends with benefits" understanding with a dear friend and former colleague who had recently split from her husband it was always understood that she would one day find somebody new - and that somebody wouldn't be me. We had a wonderful no strings relationship for 3 years and 36 years on we are still special friends. Mary did find the man of her dreams after 4 years and they have just celebrated their Pearl wedding. Her husband Eddie knows that although I am still around I am very much part of Mary's past and also that I play no part in her present. Just before Mary got married she told me that she really appreciated all the help and support - and everthing else - that I had given to her in the aftermath of her separation and subsequent divorce. She agreed that we would keep in touch - as friends, nothing more - and this is exactly the situation right to this very day. We meet regularly and have a bit of a laugh about our "history" but again there is an unspoken understanding that that is as far as it goes. Could this situation ever change? Who knows?

[TuggerWaugh]

Mike, that sounds like some special relationship! I imagine it's not often that that sort of thing doesn't end in tears. Mary sounds like a lovely person.

[Scarlett]

I agree, that does sound very rare that you managed the situation so well and nobody got hurt or jealous. I guess it just depends on your attitude to sex and relationships.

[DaisyNonna]

Not flattered but flattened. I should be so lucky!