Dilemma. Career change or stay as I am??

[spunkypumpkn]

I'm 33. Married. 2 children, both of whom will be at school within the year. In a good financial position. Supportive husband. Life is good! But I'm bored!

When the kids are both at school, I could go back into nursing if I fancied it... bit to be truthful, I fancy doing something else. Dentistry has been at the back of my mind for about 2 years.

Question is... should I rock my lovely boat and do it? Go back to university and study dentistry?? 5years??

If it was just my husband and I, I'd definately do it.... but I have to consider how doing a 5 year course would affect our children and our family life?

Opinions and advice gratefully received. Thanks in advance for answering.

[:Ace:]

Personally I would go for it, Just make it sure it doesn't interfere with your family life and if things get Too bad you can always drop out as a last resort.

[Scarlett]

I too advise you to go for it. Life is for living, and just because you have kids doen't mean that you shouldn't follow your own ambitions too. If anything, you are helping your kids because in the long run you will be earning a dentists salary rather than a nurses! 5 years of studying is probably less stress on the family than all the shift work you would have to do as a nurse.

[Lonnie]

Speaking from my point of view, which is not to everyones cup of tea, I agree that if your children are at school, you could, or should go back to work, if only for your mental well being, you don't say how old you children are, because I believe that to ensure the childrens continuing good health and well being, one parent, preferably, but not neccesarily, the mother, should be at home for them, but a part time job would fit, and in the meantime, maybe an Open University cours, for when they are older. Thats what my wife did, and it worked perfectly. but whatever you do decide on, Good luck.

[barb1314]

I'd say definitely go for it...you obviously have a good brain and you have achieved a lot by having your family too! My mum always worked around us kids and did jobs where she could have holidays with us.When we had finished school she finally did what she had always wanted and trained as a nurse.She is now a very highly qualified nurse and absolutely loves her job at a hospice.I have so much admiration for her and as a result she has instilled a great work ethic into me and my sister.If your husband supports you in this then give it a go...you have nothing to lose.Good luck.

[snook]

The consensus seems to be that you should go for it, and that doesn�t sound like bad advice at all. But of course, only you can make the decision. You could try this method: spend some time thinking about it, in detail, all aspects of it, and make notes of the pros and cons. Weigh it all up very carefully. Get all the information about the career you have in mind, and imagine what the effects of studying for it and achieving it would have on you, and your family. Then write down, and mentally say to yourself, that this is a very important decision and you need to make the right choice, for the good of everyone concerned. Then let it go. Imagine you�re passing all the information over to someone else. You can imagine it�s your subconscious mind, or the Universe. Or God. Or whatever works for you.

Then watch and listen very carefully for the answer. Over the following days you might be drawn to certain things that are relevant, things in magazines or newspapers, or on television. Or you might get a phone call from someone who has already gone down that route successfully � or tried it and failed. Or you might open a book at random (seemingly) and find that your eyes rest on a sentence that helps you make your decision.

The world has strange ways of guiding us. If you state your question very carefully (making sure that you specify that it�s for the good of all concerned), you�ll very likely get an answer. It might not be the one you thought you wanted, but regardless of that you�ll know it when you see it.

[Eels]

OK, here's an inverse perspective.

I'm 24, and live with my long term partner. I went straight to Uni at 18 and spent 5 years studying towards a professional degree, and I now have a great job which makes a lot of demands on my time but which I love.

I'd really like kids but feel that at this stage it would be detrimental to my career. I don't want to 'take a break' to have a family and find the fast-paced world of my profession has moved on, nor do I want to compromise the first years of my children's lives by being committed to work. But I don't want to put it off for years and be and old mum!

If I'd had kids first, then studied later, these concerns would be irrelevant. I'd have enjoyed my children, but then as they grew up and started school I too could go out and learn the things I wanted to learn. And I could devote time to my career without worrying that my biological clock is ticking.

If you'd definitely do it if it was 'just you and your husband', then I think you should definitely do it! It's not unheard of for people to harbour inadmissible resentment toward their children because of missed opportunities. How about organising some work experience with a dentist, or even just finding one who's willing to chat frankly about the job? This can help you understand the realities of what you're entering into.

[Steve_Luts]

Eels - what do you do that's so fast paced that having kids would be detrimental to your career?

I'm genuinely interested, because we're supposed to live in times where you can pick up where you left off, as it were. Is this not the case for you?

[Minxie]

Hi *************, I would say you are a very lucky lady in being able to choose.

[Minxie]

answer bank blotted out your name when I wrote it! Never had that happened before!

[alijangra]

You could always train to be a hygienist? Think its 3 year course and the role is really developing. Certainly in Scotland its a BSc in Oral Health Sciences currently available only in Dundee and Glasgow.

[mullein3]

My opinion is that you should not go for the dentistry course as it will be too time consuming to the detriment of your family. You are 33 years of age and the studying you will have to do will be very strenuous. Your husband and children would want to spend quality time with you and they would not like to see you so tired, that you have not got the quality time to give them.

There are lots of other options where you could work part time and still have the quality time for your family. When you chose to be a mother, and the fact that you are not currently working tells me that you are a caring person who has selflessly put her family first. I would add why bother going back into the medical profession. find something that you could do that you are passionate about because employment is not just only about fiinancial reward it's about enjoyment learning new skills and meeting new people.

[spunkypumpkn]

They are all bl**dy good answers, and thanks so much for your opinions.

Although I'm still not certain about what I'll do, I think that I'll apply and see if I even get on the course. If I get accepted, THEN I'll have a decision to make. I may not even be accepted onto the course, in which case... I'm stressing over nothing.

[spunkypumpkn]

Also...my name gets ********ed out when you write it in an answer, because its got a 'rude' word in it... as in '*punk'

[Eels]

Steve - I'm a vet, so the first few years in practice are vital to gain experience in all aspects of the job. I would, of course, be able to return to the profession after having kids, but the need to secure myself a good foundation of experience, coupled with the fact that I currently work insanely long hours (they would be totally unacceptable if I had a family) means I don't feel that realistically it's an option.

Sp@nkypumpkin - hope you run with it, it will take a bit of juggling but I'm sure you can do it!