Aplomb

[McMouse]

His Lordship was in the study at Downton Abbey when the butler
approached and coughed discreetly.

"May I ask you a question my Lord?"

"Go ahead Carson," said his Lordship.

"I am doing the crossword in The Times and I have found a word I am not too clear on."

"What word is that?" said his Lordship.

"Aplomb" my Lord, answered the butler.

"Now," His Lordship explained- "That's a difficult one to explain. I would say
it is: self assurance......... or complete composure"

"Thank you my Lord, but I'm still a little confused".

"Let me give you an example to make it clearer. Do you remember a few months ago the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge arrived to spend a weekend with us?"

"I remember the occasion very well , my Lord. It gave the staff and myself much pleasure to look after them."

"Also", continued Lord Grantham, "do you remember Will plucked a rose for Kate in the rose garden? "

"I was present on that occasion, my Lord, ministering to their needs"

"While plucking the rose a thorn embedded itself in his thumb very deeply"

Carson replied, "I witnessed the incident my Lord and saw the Duchess herself remove the thorn and bandage his thumb with her own dainty handkerchief."

"Well, that evening the prick on his thumb was so sore, Kate had to cut up his
venison (from our own estate,) even though it was extremely tender?"

"Yes my Lord, I did see everything that transpired that evening."

"The next morning while you were pouring coffee for Her Ladyship, Kate
enquired of Will with a loud, clarion-clear voice: "Will Darling, does
your prick still throb?"

"And you did not spill one drop of coffee?"

"Now that, Carson, is aplomb!"

[frugalfred]

She could have kissed it better.

[DTCwordfan]

what a load of cock and balls.

[marval]

lol