Good Morning Early Birds!

[berniecuddles]

good morning early birds! oh well we are half way through the week already still dark outside but no rain as yet!

[Sir Alec]

Good afternoon to all. I'm writing this now as my mood has suddenly improved, but that could change.
I had better start with profuse apologies all round for causing such concern. The state of my brain at the time meant that I didn't think about the outcome of my actions. A special apology to Naomi. I'm ashamed that I made her cry.
I had expected to lie down and go to sleep, not to wake up again, which is what I wanted. Instead, about 20 minutes after taking the tablets, I started with copious projectile vomiting which went on sporadically until 3pm, when I could finally keep water down.
I had the worst headache of my life, so I couldn't sleep either. I'm still having small but persistent headaches and a lot of nausea.
Tony, bless him, had noticed that I had been on the music thread and seemed okay. The type of Bipolar I suffer from has a condition called Ultradian Cycles attached to it. Not sure if I've spelt that correctly, but you are welcome to look it up, if it's of any interest. Basically it means that the mood can change at a moment's notice, with very little warning.
August 5th was the anniversary of Alec Guinness' passing, so that helped very little. I was fine until I saw an elderly man on Look North who had quite a resemblance, so I was in tears for a bit, but felt a little better afterwards.
I finished the Kenneth Williams diaries and agreed with his final comment - "What's the point!". To cheer me up, I am now reading one of Peter Bull's books, which are always wonderfully humorous.
I will finish by saying how extraordinary I find it, that people on here, that I will probably never meet have more concern for me than my own family. I haven't told my sister about this episode as she would think me selfish. She doesn't suffer from depression and has no interest in finding out about it. My Dad was only annoyed that he couldn't get in the bathroom, when I was so ill.
The only comment I've ever had from either parent was, "What have you got to be depressed about?" It was like I was doing it as a personal affront to them. I tried to explain several times that there IS no reason and that it's a chemical imbalance in the brain, but their eyes would glaze over and I realised I was wasting my time.
I think I have now taken up enough of your time, so I'll go to the music thread where, looking back over the days, songs have been requested and played for me, so it's only right to make a reply.
Apologies again and love to all who were so very concerned.
Alec XX

[Mamyalynne]

Well , thank goodness you are back with us, safe and sound albeit somewhat battered and bruised.

I realise when you are in a dark place it matters not who cares for you, that is the nature of the beast - just know we are here, anytime ♥

[berniecuddles]

totally agree mamya sir alec its a pleasure to see you back with us all we all care about you we are all here if you need to talk mega big cuddles for you xxxxxxx

[tonyav]

Gawd, I'm glad to see you posting Sir A, you gave quite a few of us a fright.
You have my sympathy with this terrible depression that you suffer with, and as mamya and bernie says were here if ever you need to talk. x

[cupid04]

So glad you're still with us. Look forward to chatting on mamya's music
thread soon.Love cupid04.xx

[humbersloop]

Glad to see you back Sir A

[Sir Alec]

You are all very kind and I don't really feel that I deserve it.
I'm starting with another headache, so I'm going to lie down for an hour before Dad needs his warfarin at 6. Thank you all again for your understanding.

[naomi24]

Sir Alec! Wonderful!! No need to apologise to me. I'm so very pleased - and so very relieved - that you're ok. Thank you for posting. Much love to you. x

See you tomorrow on the Good Morning thread?

[wolf63]

Sir Alec

I have just read your other post and I am really happy to see that you are back with us and feeling a little better.

My dad tried hard to understand my illness but he couldn't - he has been gone almost 10 years now.

I feel very isolated most of the time - but have a good friend who knows me better than anyone else. I usually feel like a pest when it comes to my brother.

You are not alone in how you feel - there are too many of us in Bipolar Hell.

I am off to hide under the duvet until Friday, I have my ipod and kindle and a pack of Dreamies for the moronic moggies.

What's the point?

[Psybbo]

Sir Alec, it's such a relief to see you posting - a very dear friend of mine suffers as you do so I have an idea of what you are going through but he doesn't have the responsibilities you have. Much, much love and take care, sibton xxx

[divegirl]

I too am so pleased to see you back Sir Alec, I rarely post in the Good Morning thread but I do read them and though I don't know you I too shed a tear.
We all friends here I hope and please don't ever feel like you don't have anyone to talk to.

Much love

Lisa x