what do women think these days of taking their hubbies name?

[joko]

I personally wouldn't take my husbands name (but then I have no desire to ever get married, but never say never)
I would possibly consider a double barrelled surname, depending on what the name was and if it was a special sounding name � but I would expect him to do the same.
I expect most women just do it automatically because think they don't have a choice and it is expected
What is the general feeling of this nowadays?
(I realise some women may actually want to change their name for love and others because their name is terrible)
thanks

[rojash]

I don't think it's important to change either name. But the double-barrelled option has one obvious drawback, if everyone chooses it:
Your kids have two names. Their kids have 4, Their kids kids have 8, and you great grandchildren will have 16!

So purely for pragmatic reasons, it makes sense for a couple to setlle on one of their names (or, why not choose a brand new one?)

[campbellking]

A girl I worked with kept her name and her husband changed his to her's as he couldn't stand his surname (which was Prettyman). Caused no end of ructions in his family as he's an only child and it was seen as the end of a family line.

[Greedyfly]

Although I am not a very traditional person I do feel that if my partner and I got married I would take his name, I would feel proud too.

[Morrisonker]

I agree with Greedyfly, I'm a bit of a romantic and I'd be pleased to to my husbands last name. I've got my mum's last name as my middle name which I think owrks quite well, however if I did this for my children and I marry my boyfriend, our kids would be surnamed Morrison-Murison. A bit too similar :)

[shazbang]

I would love to take my partners name (we are engaged) however, if I did my name would be Sharon Marron and Im sorry but thats just not happening so we're either gonna double barrel or invent a surname that we both love.

[Glossopswift]

Do whatever you feel best � there are no rules, but do consider all eventualities. For a couple it is probably no big deal but I have heard of problems when children come on the scene. I have a friend who kept her own name (her husband also kept his) and all was well. When they had kids they couldn�t decide which name the children should have. Should they have the mum�s, the dad�s or a double-barrelled name? They thought that for the mum to have one name, the dad to have another and the children to have a double-barrelled name would sound as if the children were from previous relationships. They went with the dad�s and my friend now calls herself by her husband�s surname. Another friend overheard someone saying that double-barrelled used to sound posh but now it means �illegitimate� (a horrible word) � his sons had a double-barrelled name (his and their mum�s) and it bothered him enough to marry their mum and now they all have the same double-barrelled name.

[smudge]

I've been quite happy being Mrs Smudge for 41 years!

Mr Smudge is happy that I liked his name enough to become Mrs Smudge too!

[treacle84]

If myself and my partner were to get married then I'd love to take his name. I think it's nice if he is willing to take yours but I'd be proud to take his

[kick3m0n]

I think I'll take my partners name when we eventually get round to marriage. Apart from anything else, I'd like us all (ie me, hubby and son) to have the same surname and see little point in making one up, when a perfectly good option is available. I personally think the double barrelleds just sound pretentious and silly, so that's definitely not for me. Also, I have no particular liking for my own surname. My father and I were estranged long before he died, and Mum divorced him and reverted to her maiden name. My wee brother is there to carry on the name, so I don't need to even think about that.

[WoWo]

My wife took my name which she was happy with. But if she had decided not to then that would have been fine by me, if anything I would have prefered to take hers as it's a hell of a lot easier to use. When ever we book things on the phone we use my wifes surname as it saves any confusion.

At the end of the day it's a tradition.

[Goodsoulette]

Good question! I am engaged although it seems less and less likely that we will actually tie the knot. Not that I dont love him, it just is not important to me a Mrs. I hate the idea of losing my surname, I dont mind our kids taking his name but me I like mine. I will if we ever do probably keep my name, which he hates the idea of but I cant believe that changing my name is going to make him change the way he feels about me.

[lilyfrog]

I married my husband in 2004 and was immensly proud to take his name. It not a brilliant name and most people spell it wrong or mishear it - but I love the fact that we share a second name.

I also feel that although I was the one to change my name, he is my Mr _ as much as I am his Mrs_. It really makes me feel like we are one unit working together towards the same goals.

[joko]

I am so glad women are generally no longer referred to as 'mrs john smith' etc - that is so wrong and just horrible.

[Bohne]

I kept my name when I got married.

There were generally three reasons:
1. I was already over 30 and did not want to go through the hassle of getting used to a new name, and changing all legal documents, bank accounts, incurance policies, and what not.
2. I am the last in my family and would like for my name to keep going.
3. It's my husband's second marriage, his ex still has his name, and there was no way I would be Mrs B. the second.

For the second and third reason I also want our child to have my name.
I don't want our baby to have the same name as his ex.

My husband seemed to have no problem whatsoever with me keeping my name (he did not want to take mine, though), he is however not so happy about the baby's name.
I think, however, he'll give in...

:o)

[clairelb]

Good question. I was adamant that I would not change my name after I got married. My view was that my identity included my name and in changing my name I was changing something that was part of my life and had been for the last 30 odd years. DH understood, but I could tell he was slightly disappointed - and he'd never have considered changing his. His family though (and to some extent mine too) were horrified - like Campbellking described, DH is an only child and the family name was expected to be carried on. I had all sorts of 'accusations' such as that I should be proud of having his name, as a lot of women have said here - but it wasn't about pride, it was about remaining as 'me'. In the end, I caved in and eventually did change my name, although if I'm honest I do slightly regret it. I do however refuse to acknowledge anyone or anything which adderesses me by my husband's name entirely as you've describes.

There is also the issue of children to consider. What if you kept your surname and husband kept his? Whose name would the child take?