How to get my new housemate to ease up on my cat

[annavc]

I live in a shared house (3 of us) and a couple of months ago one of the girls moved out so we had to find a new housemate. She moved in about 3 weeks ago and she said she'd had cats all her life etc but since she moved in she's failed to bond with my cat. He's very attached to me and will only sit with me but he's very confortable and happy round my existing housemate. The new one, however, keeps lunging at him and grabbing him, picking him up and cuddling him. He's really not comfortable when she does this, struggling to get away and most of the time he avoids her, running away or to me when she comes near him.

I've said to her that he's a bit nervous of new people and she should just leave him alone and let him come to her but she just protests that he really likes her and she knows about cats which I think is proving not to be true.

Does anyone have any ideas how I can get her to just let him be. I've tried talking to her and it hasn't worked. If it doesn't change I may be forced to ask to her find somewhere else to live which would be difficult as she has a lease.

Thanks

[andy-hughes]

You have two choices - you can either sit her down and say quietly, and firmly, that your cat is distressed by her handling, and so in turn, are you, and you would appreciate it if she just left your cat alone until such times as he comes to her freely, if he chooses so to do, and as anyone with cats knows, that's not guarenteed.

The other way, if that doesn't work, is to take issue at the time your cat makes his feelings known, and say loudly and firmly "Look, he doesn't want to be picked up or stroked right now, will you please leave him alone"

and hopefully this will do the trick.

It's no use saying you 'understand cats' - who does?

Hopefully your housemate will get the message, and if not, you are going to have to have a row with her to get your point accross - explaining that you did try to be bice about it, and she simply take any notice of you - or indeed of your cat!

Good luck!

[WendyS]

Andy has given some good advice and I can't really add to it, except to try and get your existing flat mate on board and get her to give the same message to your newcomer. Perhaps then, if she's at all sensitive, she might get the message that her behaviour is creating tension and it would be better to ease off.

[annavc]

Thanks Andy and Wendy. My other housemate feels exactly the same as me about it and has also tried to talk to her about it. We'll have to try again I think. Last night he was walking away from this girl and she grabbed him round the stomach, pulled him backwards and tried to lift him up - he wriggled and got away, running into my bedroom and spent the rest of evening curled up on my bed.

Definitely have to try talking to her again - being tactful doesn't seem to be working so may have to be firmer about it.

Thanks for the advice.

[woofgang]

Well if the you and your other flatmate agree, at least you have the possibility of saying to her leave my cat alone or leave the house. Setting aside the feelings of your cat, not that I discount those for the moment, the cat is yours. Would she feel that she has a right to mess around with your other posessions in the same way??

[peanut]

Make her want to leave. Who does she think she is coming into someones home and not respecting the people she moved in with? If you do something to make her want to move, you wont have to worry about the lease. As long as lhe lease is with you and not another landlord.