Guinnessed Out And In Love.

[gness]

I have had the most wonderful holiday in Ireland. Long time since I was up on the wild west coast and had forgotten how beautiful and friendly it is.
Luton Airport was a pain.....I set off the blasted alarms again but this time the ones that require a woman to be brought to investigate bits of my body in a way that took me back to fumbling teenage boys trying to act as if they knew what they were doing.
She had a jolly good feel all over and then said she would have to feel all around the seams and cups of my bra...what bra?....asks I....If I am flying Ryanair I don't take anything deemed unnecessary and that Michael may decide to charge extra for.
Then I'll have to feel all around the seams of your waistband...says the uniformed woman.....What waistband?...asks I.....I'm sixty three...long time since I saw a waist so why should I want to band it? I wear floatly trousers that float around til they find somewhere to settle....sadly not on a waist these days. She had a fidget anyway. I think she liked me.
Now show me the soles of your feet...says the lady who is running out of things to feel....I'm not awfully big....
Well...says I....they're only size two so there won't be much there, but look away.....as I tottered in an undignified manner on one leg...That second Guinness in the bar was a mistake.
Dennis...who was waiting patiently...he never sets off alarms...says they would be looking for taped on razor blades...???? I have enough trouble keeping upright on size twos without taping flipping razor blades to my feet...but heyho...she let me through....I decided not to mention knitting needles to her...she'd had her fun...so I waited...just long enough for Dennis to relax and figure I couldn't be any more bother........then I asked a security guard about very long knitting needles on flights......☻
Off for a soak in the seaweed I lugged home to put in the bath....
All well?
Nice to be back....well niceish....Gx

[gness]

Will let you know when I am down then, DTC.....may need a day away from the daughter's garden......☺
Thanks, Ferlew...will mull those over. They do look lovely. I found the wool shop to die for in Roscommon....we were only passing through. Amazing what you can buy when passing a wool shop. And we did need the extra suitcase we had to buy....plus the extra weight for the flight. But hey..it's wool. x

[DTCwordfan]

The abject confusion over which size knitting needles are permitted on the Pope's Airlines is a consequence of O'Leary's woolly thinking on this.

[Zacs-Master]

B'jazus Gnes, did u kiss the Blarney Stone whilst you were there? The length of your posts is longer than a catholic christening. ;-)

[askyourgran]

Hi gness, probably the pub in Mayo can shut shop after you've made their wages up for the year. I have never been to Ireland and I am thinking of trying to persuade Mrask to take a trip over there next year. I've heard it is beautiful and green, but I'm not sure where would be the best place to choose to visit. Did you say seaweed? How did you manage to smuggle that home or is that another story?

[gness]

Hi Ann...well I'm glad it's not just me. I was befuddled by the feet thing. When I unpacked I had all sorts of things I shouldn't have had in my hand luggage. Hypodermics....lighters....toothpaste...and yet they showed unnatural interest in the soles of my little feet.
Two friends of mine went through passport control, minutes apart, with each other's passports by mistake. Liz was really pi**ed off because Mick has a beard and no-one noticed she didn't match the bearded photo on the passport she held up.

[boxtops]

she's lucky, gness - OH has shaved off his beard, and often has to show other ID to prove he's who his passport says he is....

Me, I'm indignant every time they don't query my passport - do I really look like a demented Russian grandmother?

[gness]

Hi, Zacs...hope you take hatpins to Catholic baptisms! You well?

Gran...I did buy this seaweed. The lady who used to gather seaweed at a full moon for me has died. The last time she did it she fell in the sea off the Kerry coast...she was eighty seven and I guess it was getting too much. I used it instead of getting my children vaccinated. I haven't smuggled anything for a while now...well if you don't count the Valentia Slate three years ago....in my hand luggage at that. Jeez...if Mr O'Leary knew about that. Mind you the bugger did confiscate my tomato sauce so it was a case of getting one over. Still don't know what damage even I could do with a bottle of tomato sauce.
Anywhere in Ireland is good to visit but the coastline...the west...is a must.

[gness]

Boxy...before I show mine I tell them I was having a very bad year when the photo was taken...I tell them all that had happened in the fictitious bad year...I ask them to assure me I look much better now....by the time I have finished they look as bad as I do in my photo.
You would think they could airbrush these photos nowadays....and some low lighting....perhaps even take them by candle light?
Mind you...that I have two big bells on a chain attached to my passport puzzles them before I start.

[askyourgran]

Lol gness, that poor old lady ending up in the sea....what the sea giveth it taketh away, or something like that. I thought O'Leary was supposedly a bit mean about luggage trying to get everyone to take only hand luggage. Still puzzling about the tomato sauce.

[SlackAlice]

Welcome back gness

OK, I'll bite,

I have two big bells on a chain attached to my passport

explain ☺☺☺

[gness]

Gran....if you work it properly Ryanair can be a cheap way of travelling. Just a matter of comparing prices and choosing the best....and being careful.
My daughter had a bottle of tomato sauce confiscated by Ryanair...I got through on the same flight with a load of slate I had ...errr ...borrowed ...from a slate mine on Valentia Island. I think sharp slate could be more dangerous than sauce but it made super plaques for house numbers .....bloody heavy though!

[gness]

Hi Slack....when I was mugged I didn't notice what was being taken from my bag. Now I have attached big bells on chains to anything I don't want to lose.....passport....purse...credit card holder....etc. Okay...I sound like a colony of lepers on a charity walk...but it's mine!!!!

[SlackAlice]

OK, understood ☺☺☺

Had a fleeting thought of Swiss fields and cowbells then :)

[gness]

Nothing so sweet, Slack....just me and my jangling bag...:-(

[flump1]

Gness I spent a wonderful week at Sligo many moons ago and I have not forgotten the place or the people. Just so beautiful , all of it. Just before my arrival the friend who I was visiting was a touch upset at her husband who was the proud owner of a goat he had won in the pub one night. Mary wasn't so keen . I don't think they kept the goat, I had a wonderful time there.

[gness]

Hi, Flump....Sligo is lovely. Next year I have new friends to visit there. Aren't the people friendly beyond belief? I must admit I noticed as soon as I landed here how we don't talk to each other just for the sake of it...going into a bar in Ireland was like walking into a room full of family....everyone chatting as if we had known each other for years....or maybe my grandad had had a well traveled bicycle...;-)

[jim360]

Woohoo, welcome back gness!!

[gness]

Hi, Jim!.....You well?.....Reached hill seven yet?....'Tis nice to be back but do miss being in Ireland.....and not just for the good Guinness....xx