He is marrying a Kenyan,should I be suspicious?

[estatigua]

I am not sure if I am even in the right place but am desperate for some help. I have an Uncle who has been widowed for 9 years, he is a little mentaly challenged. He met a Kenyan lady from Nairobi on a dating site, talked to her for a couple of months, went out to meet her for 5 days last week & now tells us he is going out in April to marry her there!He tried to get her to come here to see him but she would only come if they married & started asking him for a lot of documentation like his birth certificate & his wife's death certificate, I persuaded him it was all too quick & not to send & told him the best way would be for her to get a visa & come here for a visit first, now he is going there to marry her. I know I am being cautious but you hear such stories & as he is a little challenged I am protective, he is a 17 year old in a 64 year old body. Can anyone help me & tell me what is expected of him when he goes out there to marry her & what his rights are? I won't have him deceived. This lady paid for everything while he was out there for his 5 days & had him live in her accomadation (we had been told he was in a hotel but there was no contact with us even though it was arranged) & that made me concerned as I feel she has put a lot into the fact she can get him to marry her as when she heard that he wouldn't just have her here & marry her in April she went ballistic! I want him to be happy but need to know this is going to be ok.....Ye Gods! no one can tell me this can they.....I am at my wits end.

[Lindylou]

Is it an accepted medical fact - that he is 'mentally challenged'? If so, you may be able to speak to his GP or to the Social Services. They should be able to give you some advice. Are there any other relations? Maybe a brother in law or sister in law. Anyone else he trusts who can give him some unbiased advice. Don't forget, he doesn't want to be told that this person may be trying to use him. Maybe you could speak to someone from Immigration, they'll know all the tricks that are used by unscrupulous people to try and enter Britain. Where is the 'dating site' based? The fact that marriage is being 'demanded' rings warning bells and its no wonder that you're concerned. Good Luck. Keep us posted!

[vicalncraig]

You really need to get a social worker or doctor involved. You have every right to be concerned, I certainly would be. Sorry I can't offer more constructive help. What about involving a person of the clergy or another professional whom he might listen to. Good luck in your endeavours.

[vehelpfulguy]

I must agree with lindylou, this sounds very dodgy, particularly that they are paying for everything.

Because of his mental state can you get power of attorney for example, so you control his money.

This sounds to me that either the other person wants quick legal access to the UK, or identity theft (where they will steal his identity to open bank accounts & get credit cards)

If he hands over his birth certificate he may never get it back, or they may use the details to get a copy.

It is very sad that we live in a world like this, but you are right to be wary and as lindy lou says get help from the police or immigration services.

[noxlumos]

Hang on a here a minute, the lady says that her uncle is "a little mentally challenged", that does not give people a carte blanche to interfere in his affairs or try to get power of attorney! I agree that the situation sounds suspicious and he should be wary but essentially this is going to be up to him. He's clearly intelligent enough to have been married and live his own life and to have made the trip to Kenya so to suggest that someone should have their rights taken away simply because they are considering doing something slightly rash is appalling quite frankly.

I think any attempt to force his arm will be met very badly by him and that if you want a happy result out of this then you have to tread gently. Can you imagine how he'll feel if his family try to get Drs, social workers etc involved with his life and then try to get power of attorney over his money. He'll feel betrayed and it'll have exactly the opposite effect you wish it to.I think vicalncraig is right to try to involve a person whom he repects to have a chat and try to point out the pit falls but really morally that's all you can do, just try and watch out for him the best you can.I'd personally have felt happier with her coming here to marry him, rather than him going there. Any way you could go with him, as it's wholly different a family member sticking their oar in than a Dr or Social Worker? Might also make them realise if they are up to no good that he's not vulnerable and alone.

[joko]

as far as i know people in this situation have to go through a tough test to prove they are genuinely in love and not just after a passport. i suggest you contact the immigration office they will use and tell them the story and of your fears. they will interrogate this woman - with your fears in mind - and only if she can satisfy them will she be allowed into the country - married or not i think

sounds like she would have to do a sterling job of faking to get past them

worth a go?

[Booldawg]

EDDIE51 - I'll give you 3 guesses.