grandson

[wendilla]

I look after my grandson (3) 4 days in the week.Until he was 1 he lived here with his parents .He is all mummy and wont hardly let daddy do anything.BUT when MUMMY has to work at weekend daddy has no problems with him .When my daughter drops him off at mine he crys when she goes and she goes to work upset and rings me to see how he is.I assure her that by the time she has got to her car he is playing happily. He has started play school twice a week in mornings.When I take him he runs off quite happy but my daughter had her day off today and when she got there he didnt want to stop but the lady assured her he is fine .I have noticed when I go to there house he just wont leave her she just dont get a minutes peace but she says when she is on her own with him he is not so bad.When he is at my house he is very happy we go out play games do drawings all the usual stuff but as soon as mummy gets here he goes all babyish that is only way I can describe it. Any suggestions most appreciated or is any one else having same problems.I say he will grow out of it.I know they go through these things but it seems to be getting worse. Thanks for any advice.

[Sparkles3]

I have the same issue. My children (boy 3 yrs, girl 18 mths) behave in much the same way - perfectly happy with Dad if I'm not there, but only wanting me to change them, read to them, get up with them etc etc if I am. It is particularly bad first thing in the morning and last thing at night - I guess when they are tired - going as far as full-blown tantrums that my 3 year old has never done in any other circumstance. They are perfectly happy to play games with Dad most of the time. My husband is great with the children and loves to play with them - he makes a real effort (unlike with the housework lol!) and so it is really sad that he is rejected like this. I don't think I inflame the situation and am hoping that it will sort itself out over time - we don't give in to the manipulation. We currently try to 'distract' - for example saying to my son 'let's see who can get up the stairs quickest' if he's hanging back asking me to take him to get changed etc. or focusing on what we're going to do after he's changed etc. It just seems unfair that in order for my husband to read him a bedtime story, we have to make it into a game or a threat (ie. no story if you're not upstairs in 5) - he goes upstairs for his story no problem if it is my turn. I would welcome any advice or thoughts that others have too.

[wendilla]

I am glad you have come back with answer as this is what I do I distract him when my daughter goes then he has forgot till about mid afternoon then its ( mummy will be picking me up soon) She to feels for daddy as he wont let him do things unless under protest and she doesnt want it to be like that but they dont fall out over it thank goodness and she doesnt always give in to him but being an only child he is i bit spoiled but I being his granma seem to hold out better and not give in so easily although I spoil him too.

[tigilou]

Hi im going through exactly the same thing as well with my daughter 2. She wont let her dad do one single thing get her a drink, push her in her car touch her or anything she screams the house down like hes mudering her and really lashes out at him saturday he went to puut her in the car he now has a scratch right down his face i am also at a loss to know what to do she is a mummys girl when she wants to be but lately its been really hard i have spoken to health visitor about it she didn't have any explanation. I work 2 days a week and she goes to my mums and has no problems leaving me to go there or anything. Im wondering if it is a phase and also she knows it hurts him when she does this so i think she could play on it a little but i know how you are both feeling.

[wendilla]

THANKS both for your replies my daughter feels much better now not that she is glad you have these problems too but that she is not the only one.Lets hope they grow out of it. thanks again.