On Being Middle Class...

[FredPuli43]

(No, not one of Bacon's essays) Do you think class distinction has now died out in Britain? Do you find yourself saying something which, on reflection, defines you as aspirational middle class, or hear someone else doing so ?

Examples: My mother's father was a brickmaker's labourer. When she discovered that my current girlfriend was an "Honourable", she couldn't wait to tell everybody. To me, the girl was just a girlfriend. And my Welsh grandmother in law, confronted with an old friend who said proudly "My grand- daughter is marrying a dentist from Cardiff !", capped it with "Mine is marrying a gentleman from London!" This, recounted, greatly amused my fiancée, if only because I was never a gentleman

[China Doll]

No, definitely not - But I do think it's harder to tell the classes apart sometimes and it's easier to move between classes.

[rockyracoon]

I've always been a bit confused about the class system, what actually defines the differences between them?

[ummmm]

My ex went out with a girl from money. His dads advice 'stick to your own'

It's not about money, it's attitude. My mum and dad were quite poor; my grandparents were very rich...I lived a life of privilege...I lived a life of ignorance.

[Baldric]

When I were a Lad we were 'land rich, cash poor'
I went off to be a Royal Marine for a year or three.
Back in civvies I worked my nuts off to achieve what we have now, seafront home, couple of nice cars etc, materialistic you might think, you may be right, but we wanted it, worked for it and got it, and yes it does make us happy.
We don't think we're a better class than someone who doesn't have any of that, or a lower class than someone who has a bigger house etc, we are what we are, the thought of class never came into it, nor should it.

[sandyRoe]

I think language can be as much an indication of education and mindset as it is of class. When I was a teenager one of my mates was an apprentice in a small factory. He would talk of 'the labourer' rather than use the man's name which he must have knew.
I remember too once working in a factory and telling someone that the first mould should be opened at 10 and the others thereafter at 20 minute intervals.
'Thereafter?', he asked.
When in Rome... Thereafter, I watched my language and swapped my Guardian for the Mirror.

[tamborine]

dont matter what you own/earn or how you live; class is about manners & etiquette

[shoota]

I have, in my time, sported with young ladies from both ends of the spectrum (and the bit in the middle) and found that they all squeak similarly......

[Psybbo]

Sigh

[Baldric]

Is that when confronted with a large Bore shoota?

[FredPuli43]

Language is interesting. My girlfriend is Canadian. I almost wince every time she says "Pardon?" when she hasn't heard or understood something. That is extraordinary. I say "What?" but what she says makes sense, so why do I notice? These details are so ingrained in Britain; we expect people to belong and be like us; so anything that we would not do or say marks them out as not one of us. She probably says "toilet" too, when she is not saying "washroom"! By Jove ! I say "bog" (and I say toilet but only in pubs)

[Purple_Popple]

I think if someone is a genuinely kind and friendly person that goes above whatever material posessions/education one has.

[shoota]

I do try, in my own little way, to amuse, Balders, but some do find me to be a large bore I must admit.

Psybbo - that's plagiarism!

[Psybbo]

Isn't that the sincerest form of flattery, shoota.
Fred, thank you so much xx

[dave50]

Why do some people cringe at the thought of being 'middle class'. Why is it thought of as a bad thing and even amusing in some circles and why do these same people always go out of their way to make sure everyone thinks of them as being 'down to earth working class? Is it just a case of inverted snobbery?

[FredPuli43]

dave, I am sure it is insecurity. Those who dismiss something as "middle class" are generally themselves middle class but the thing is not quite up to their aspirational standards, it is petit bourgeois and they are grand bourgeois. And those who maintain that they are working class and who speak dismissively of something as "middle class" have correctly identified something as done or owned for an image of comfortable achievement and no more; it is the thing to have or "the done thing" to make the middles feel less uneasy.

The true upper class don't care; they dress and do how they please.

[sandyRoe]

I've sometimes wondered how it is that schools like Eton can produce kids busting with confidence when some clearly have little to be confident about.

[pixie373]

I don't think class genuinely exists or is relevant, except, as Tambo says- manners and consideration. It is probably too confusing now to pigeonhole people now as well. You could have an expensive car, tv, skiing holidays and not own your own house. You can be famous and in debt. Who knows? People are people. (or chavs;-)).

[FredPuli43]

Because, Sandy 1) Eton inculcates the belief in a boy that he is as good as anybody else 2) he is already not wanting for anything, nor ever likely to be; it costs quite serious money for a parent to have a boy there and still remain content. That in itself brings the belief in the boy that there is nothing to worry about in life and that however academically inferior he is that doesn't matter.

[rsvp]

The class system is explained (with great humour) in Jilly Cooper's book 'Class'. I recommend it.