I'm Not Allowed To Visit My Mother In Her Home

[maureen65]

My mother lives with my brother and his wife. I am not allowed to visit her or take her to her own front door if we have been out. Do I have a legal right to be allowed to visit my elderly mother in her home? The last time I tried to escort my mother to her front door, she walks with a (zimmer frame ) so needs help to get to her front door, my sister in law was abusive to me, this has happened many times and she has frequently told me that I am not welcome. But my mother needs help and I cannot leave her standing at the gate and make her own way down quite a steep slope to the door. I am not allowed into family gatherings or in to visit my mother, I have her staying with me as often as I can but because I am not even allowed in the gate, find it hard to even take her out for the day for fear of what might happen when we go back. Other members of my family have tried reasoning with my brothers wife but she will not see that her behaviour is making my mother unhappy, and as my mother is now ninety years old it is downright cruel. Have I got the legal right to visit my mum in her own home, regardless of what my sister in law might say.

[mallyh]

what has your sister in law got against you , and is it your mums house or your brothers .

[Hypognosis]

Surely, if it's the mother's house, only she should have a say on who comes through the front door and who not.

I am curious though. How long is it since you've been inside the property and seen the interior? By which I mean does it appear that your bro and s.i.l. have 'taken over' the house, changed the decor, sold her personal effects and so forth.

At 90, with a downslope approach to the front door, there must be thoughts of moving her to another property, or a care home where there are no hazardous slopes to negotiate. Either way, that would involve sale of the house we're talking about and that leaves your bro and s.i.l. without a home.

No wonder there are tensions.

[pixie373]

I think the home belongs to the brother and sister-in-law by the way it's worded. I don't think you can go on their property without their permission, but if they really are being difficult, is there anyone else who could pick her up and drop her off for you? Some companies will, including help to and from front door.

[Cider]

Who's house is it? If it's your moms house, then they have no right to stop you, are they hiding some thing? If it's your brothers house, then you have no rights.

[themas]

What does your brother say about it? Or is he under his wife's thumb?

It might be worth a word with Social Services to see if they have any suggestions - perhaps they ought to visit your mother & do a needs assessment.

[boxtops]

If the path is that steep, social services may put in a railing (they did for my elderly mother). However - it's not your property to request it. What does your mother say? You say it's making her unhappy, but apart from that comment you've not mentioned your mother's feelings or what she thinks about all this.

[joko]

no, you have no legal right to go into someone elses home, no matter how much you want to.

if it is your brothers house, and they took her in, then it is not 'her own front door' - it is his.

forget the sil - speak to your brother and explain your worries - get him to understand and put a rail in

[dprjones]

If it is your mother's home then it is a matter for her to decide who and who is not allowed into the house.

If she gives you permission to visit her then your brother's and sister in law's opinion is of no legal consequence.