Tony - he ONLY fixed it because I am going to somewhere not very pleasant tomorrow and I told him if he didn't fix mine, I would have to take his. The horror on his face was enough to get him scuttling outside...............
Right, I have dusted off my crystal ball, gazed at the heavens, cast the chicken entrails, read the tea leaves, thrown my mystic rune stones, chanted my mystical chant and examined my toe nail clippings.
We get a local free mag through the door each month which has spoof horoscopes in it.
Examples are:-
You will witness a collision of a lorry carrying a load of tortoises and another carrying terrapins. It will be a turtle disaster.
You will invent a new curry, it will be brown and runny. You will call it Usain Bolt.
You will try the "Whiskey Only" diet. Almost immediately you will lose three days.
And finally:
You will clean the attic with your wife this month and will have difficulty getting the cobwebs out of her hair.
I am sure, of course, that Mrs 'O' will take her duties more seriously and come up with more scientific answers.
Don't forget to take your marigolds off before you type, Mrs 'O'. Just one letter out of place can be a major catastrophe. (Or is it apostrophe)?