One-liners

[Andy008]

Does anyone have any one-liners like these?

"I'm not racist, I've got a colour TV."

"I come from a musical family - even the sewing machine was a singer"

[seeandess]

I used to be a werewolf , but I'm alright nooooowwww !!

[andy-hughes]

We're all musical in our family, even the dog hums in the hot weather!

[dot.hawkes]

I'm not a drunk, that's just a rumour spread about by people who have fallen over me.

[dot.hawkes]

(that was a one liner by the way, not a confession guys)

[lankeela]

A bit of water never hurt anyone - you ask Robert Maxwell.

[sir.prize]

The wedding was an emotional occasion - even the cake was in tiers.

[SKCOLL]

I'm an individual - just like everyone else.

[Big Al1st]

The only person i know who uses his personality as a contraceptive

Its a hell of a responsibilty being the only one in step

[rd14962]

My local pub is so rough, the piano has a bandage on it's leg.

I went to a lesbian bar, even the pool table didn't have any balls.

The piano had yellow keys, the elephant must have smoked.

I took the dog for a tramp in the woods, the dog loved it, the tramp wasn't too keen though.

She was only the bricklayer's daughter, but what she said cement.

She was only the Yorkshireman's daughter, but she liked her 'uddersfield

Two peanuts walked into a bar, one was a-salted

My brother has only got one arm and one leg, well actually, he is my half brother.

[dorindarasbe]

hi andy008,

sometimes i wake up grumpy, other times i let her sleep,

a bicycle can't stand on it's own it's two-tired.

[isca]

Im not as think as you stoned i am

[stevie-p]

im dyslexic...and iv just sold my soul to santa.

[Mxfan]

I'm not gay but my boyfriend is.