Should I Call Her Out On This

[sara4fff]

my friend has this very insensitive habit that makes me angry. I am 5'0 tall and sensitive about my height. whenever she talks about attractive people, she always emphasizes height and includes 'tall' as being a really attractive quality, and says short as being a really unattractive quality. she does this alot and its pissing me off cuz its just rude and insensite. she always list 'short' when she's talking about unattractive qualities in a persona. if she was short too, it'd be fine but she's tall so its really obnoxious. i'm sick of it and i wanna call her out on it and say stop

[RATTER15]

I actually prefer shorter women, I think short is cute :-)

[Svejk]

I wouldn't have thought 5 foot was particularly short for a woman. Is it? I'm sure my last GF told me she was 5'4". And she seemed about the same size as most other girls.

[Buenchico]

Your friend needs to learn that 'attractive' and 'beautiful' aren't synonymous. People can be attractive to others, without possessing physical beauty, through other characteristics such as personality or vivaciousness.

She also needs to be told that a lack of physical stature is no bar to success within professions that do seem to value 'beauty', such as the movies or the music industry. Show her this:
http://www.imdb.com/list/wPYMT33ceDM/
(Miley Cyrus's videos are among the most-viewed ever. I'd be prepared to bet that, irrespective of the quality of her music, a lot of those views are from men who find her physically attractive!)

Also point out that Janet Street-Porter is (at around 6') rather tall for a woman but (although she's probably a lovely lady if you get to know her) I doubt that she'd meet with your friend's definition of 'attractive'.

Lastly point out that your friend's bigotry towards people who don't share her physical properties renders her extremely UNATTRACTIVE to you and to others.

[mikey4444]

It would seem to me that you have a central problem with this friend of yours. If she is a good friend, then she should be concious of things that would upset you. The fact that she doesn't seem to care should make you reconsider your friendship altogether. Life is too short to hang on to people who are not nice.

Tell her that her ignorant attitude is causing you great concern and that it is not wanted. If she ignores this entreaty and continues to be offensive, than find another friend ! You must be strong in this.

[pixie373]

There are always two sides. Next time she uses the word "tall", you use "lanky" and instead of "short", say "petite". She knows it annoys you, or she wouldn't do it, so telling her that is pointless. You need to show that it doesn't bother you and you don't agree.

[ChillDoubt]

A. Anyone who uses this issue as a way of belittling you is not someone I would deem a friend.
B. point out to her that the best things come in small packages.
C. I'm with Ratter, I'm 6' tall and happen to think small is very cute indeed!

[murraymints]

I'm 5' 4'' seems average hight for women ?

[Prudie]

If it's bothering you this much then say something. She probably does it out of jealousy. I think a lot of women would like to be taller but in general men like short women (it's the protective instinct). Similarly tall women often wish they weren't. Grass is greener etc.

[pixie373]

I think 5'4" is average female height.

[boxtops]

Call her out? it sounds like you're going to challenge her to a duel!

Seriously though - stop letting it rile you, she's obviously an insecure person who puts a lot of store on what people look like, not who they are inside. Her problem, not yours. If you comment, she'll know she's got to you.

[Brinjal]

You could tell her giraffes look good in the wild but not so much in the city.

[Blackiequine]

Best answer, Pixie, at 8.13.

[naomi24]

Noooo! She's jealous. Be smart. Agree with her and smile - and she's stymied!

[bhg481]

That's the way Naomi - ALWAYS agree with people who are trying to insult or annoy you; it completely floors them.

[saxy_jag]

At 5'8" I'm tall but not unusually so. In my teens when I was a bit sensitive about my height, I really didn't like it when people said things like "what's the weather like up there?", or would constantly ask me to get things down from high shelves, to dance as a male partner when we had to do ballroom dancing or be one who had to keep defence at netball (was rubbish at netball and even more rubbish in defence). So can you adapt any of these instances as a nuisance strategy?

I can't name any attractive 'shorties' off the top of my head but I'm sure you can - male or female. Find an attractive short male celeb and try the 'he wouldn't be able to go out with a tall girl' routine. Not true, I know but if your friend is so shallow ...