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Wonder Mom | 01:43 Thu 09th Mar 2006 | Parenting
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My daughter is 15 and has a boyfriend who is 17. About two weeks ago he decided he needed to take a break from their relationship because she was upset because she didn't think he was spending enough time with her. He told her he loved her and didn't want to take a break but he needed some space to be with his friends sometimes. When he came to our house to tell her this he called her that same night just to talk. He's called every night since then (except two times when he had a baseball game), they have watched movies together about three times at friends houses and he has come to our house a couple of times. He still tells her he loves her and still shows the same amount of affection. They even hang out together at school just like always. He took her out to hang out with their friends Sunday for about four hours and Monday night they went to a rock concert that they had tickets for with another couple from their school. My daughter is very confused because she doesn't understand if he is still doing all this why don't they just get off the break. Is he just using her or is he truly trying to work on the relationship. I don't know how to advice hre because I was only in one relationship my whole life (with her dad).
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It sounds like he does genuinely still love/care about her. I remember being 17 and I too was very possesive and wanted my boyfriend with me all the time. It could be that he really does want to be with her, but like he says, needs some space for now. By the sounds of things, this is still working well for them, so he must mean it. There are teenage guys who would say that, then only use girls when they are needed. He might be worried that if they come off the break, that things might start going down hill again. He could also just have been scared of how serious things were getting (im assuming he's never been in a serious relationship before at this age).

one - he might want to make sure he still sees/talks to her to make sure that the relationship does not completely finish and that your daughter does not get this impression.
two - it sounds like he wishes to spend time with her and still seeing her on their "break" allows him to do this without having pressure put on him to see her more, and so their time together is more relaxed and enjoyable.
hopefully this boy will realise that he does indeed like spending lots of time with her and they can continue this within a relationship.

To be honest this sounds like the confused and heady world of young love, I would let it just find its own level and try to keep your distance. The only way she will learn about men is through experience ! I would advise her to make sure she has plenty of her own interests and friends and not to put too much store on heavy relationships at this point.


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