Meeting People With Disabilities.

[Khandro]

Someone whom I have been dealing with by phone and mail up to now I met this morning, and was surprised discovered that he was physically handicapped - he is a lawyer and a victim of thalidomide - he is a really nice person and very efficient at his profession, but during the meeting I felt as though I ought to make some comment on his disability which seemed so glaringly obvious.
Can anyone speak as, or for, a handicapped person. Is it better to say something or not?

[bookbinder]

What would be the point?

[EcclesCake]

Personally I say nothing.

When with colleagues who have long term disability I don't offer assistance either unless requested.

It is their 'disability' and for those with life long or long term disabilities it is not necessarily a disability for the individual as they have adapted or for those that never had a function just got on with it. I've learnt a lot from friends and family about how to put your knickers/tights on when you only have one working arm!

[naomi24]

Why?

[Sqad]

LOL......difficult.......

I always feel uncomfortable in the presence of people with disabilities...always, until i have met them several times and get to know them.

It is a natural reaction isn't it?

Do I mention their disability?....sometimes....but not always......I go by my instincts.

[The Builder]

I think the mistake is to think of it as the "elephant in the room", K. It isn't. It's just one particular physical aspect to this person.

Just imagine saying to someone........

"Oh hello, I had no idea from your emails that you are so fat!"

I'd say we're all rather guilty of overthinking at times. That's all.

[furrypusscat]

Treat them as if they hadn't got a disability unless they offer to speak about their problems and then listen. Offer assistance if asked for apart from the usual holding doors open etc to be polite.

[Khandro]

I think what Squad says is to the point; there was a 'reaction' in me - and I don't at all mean a revulsion - I can't deny it. I don't have an answer, I just wondered how people afflicted felt, do they ever say something themselves, perhaps light-heartedly? I suppose handicapped folk are as varied in personality as those who are not.

[Postdog]

No I'd say. As someone with a problem myself I don't like attention drawn to it, even though it is obvious something is wrong somewhere.

[Eve]

As someone with a disability and having done a lot of voluntary work with disabled people, I always go on treating them the same, see the person not the disability unless assistance is obviously needed or asked for or it is raised by them.

In a professional situation it could come across badly, like the fact they are disabled makes you see them differently, maybe lesser, because of their disability.

Different but I used to get some comments (as a qualified solicitor) about the fact I looked really young, which to me gives undertones of are you experienced enough to help me, when I was.