News2 mins ago
Thank You Bob Monkhouse
The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.
I remember when safe sex was a padded headboard.
I tend to sleep in the nude. Which isn't a bad thing except for maybe on those long flights.
My wife said: "Can my mother come down for the weekend?" So I said "Why?" and she said Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already."
A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded "Take me to the canaries."
What's a geriatric? A German footballer scoring three goals.
My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.
I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer
Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.
My father was ruined by hard drink - he sat on an icicle.
I remember when safe sex was a padded headboard.
I tend to sleep in the nude. Which isn't a bad thing except for maybe on those long flights.
My wife said: "Can my mother come down for the weekend?" So I said "Why?" and she said Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already."
A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded "Take me to the canaries."
What's a geriatric? A German footballer scoring three goals.
My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.
I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer
Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.
My father was ruined by hard drink - he sat on an icicle.
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