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Crosswords1 min ago
Food Fun
Did you hear about the restaurant that promotes safe sex?
They write the bill on a condom.
In that way you can wine and dine your date, and stick her with the bill.
Did you hear about the gourmet who avoids unfashionable restaurants?
He doesn't want to gain weight in the wrong places.
An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city.
Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here."
"You'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the harried and now irritated waiter, "I can only serve one table at a time."
The waitress was waiting as patiently as she could while the smart-a$$ man was dawdling over the breakfast menu.
He says, "I never return to a restaurant unless at least one of the sausages I'm served is a match in size for my own."
The waitress replied, "In that case, sir, perhaps you should take a look at the children's menu."
At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything.
He was served a piece of meat, and as he picked it up with his fork, he held it up and smirked, "Is this pig?"
Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly, "To which end of the fork are you referring?"
They write the bill on a condom.
In that way you can wine and dine your date, and stick her with the bill.
Did you hear about the gourmet who avoids unfashionable restaurants?
He doesn't want to gain weight in the wrong places.
An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city.
Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here."
"You'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the harried and now irritated waiter, "I can only serve one table at a time."
The waitress was waiting as patiently as she could while the smart-a$$ man was dawdling over the breakfast menu.
He says, "I never return to a restaurant unless at least one of the sausages I'm served is a match in size for my own."
The waitress replied, "In that case, sir, perhaps you should take a look at the children's menu."
At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything.
He was served a piece of meat, and as he picked it up with his fork, he held it up and smirked, "Is this pig?"
Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly, "To which end of the fork are you referring?"
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