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sixty9 | 19:45 Fri 03rd Mar 2006 | Parenting
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my partners ex wife is constantly threatening me with social services. she left him and his two lads some time ago and has never come to terms with me moving in. i care foe the lads as if they were my own and i also have a daughter to their father which the ex has constantly slagged. i have never in 5 years hit any of the children who are now aged 2, 8 and 14. they are well looked after by me at all times. does she have any grounds to report me.
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It is difficult for someone to come to terms with someone else caring for their children even if they did walk out. Is there no way you both could be on more friendly terms. Exe's are a pain but unfortunately the law won't let you do away with them. If you can get along, involve her in their upbringing as much as possible and show her you do care for the children then that may put her more at ease and help with her guilt.


If that won't work then you could contact the Social Services yourself explaining the situation and ask that they come to see you. You've then called her bluff and she can't use this threat again.

on the basis of your post she seems to have no grounds to report you whatsoever, in fact she sounds like a jealous and unhappy woman.

Common threat I think from the disaffected and the dysfunctional.To address your partner's earlier question as well no she has no right to stop you moving, however my advice would be to go and see a solicitor ( many have the initial consultation free) and explain the whole sorry tale to him.I'd get a residency order if I were you, which means basically that a court makes an order that the children reside with you and your partner and strengthens your position somewhat.She has no grounds to call Social Services although she may well anyway out of spite so I'd make mention of her threats to the solicitor who'll advise you your best course of action.This sounds like a real sword of Damacles hanging over your heads and you need to get it sorted positively so you can enjoy your life.I have custody of my lads from my first marriage ( my wife said "If you give me the house and the contents of the Bank Account you can have the kids because I don't want them "....nice) but even she who never sends birthday cards/christmas cards or phones them can from time to time ring me and just be plain abusive and threatening.I think it's part of the anger at those people's seeming inability to be happy themselves that just overcomes them and someone has to bear the brunt of it, and in this case it's you. So get it sorted, you sound as if you're doing a great job and enjoy your family:)

Hi sixty9, sorry this is late. my advice is the same as everybody elses im afraid.


Call Social services and see where you stand. they may come and talk and assess the situation and it will be in your favour by the sounds of things. if they do see you and your partners EX does call them, they can tell her all the good news and hopefully, in a more professional way, tell her to bog off!


Get in touch with a solicitor and get legal advice! its the only way to make sure that your not doing something or saying something that will affect your case.


Do get a residency order or a step parent parental responsibility order (not 100% sure about this - still looking into it myself) and sort that out soon.


If the children love being with you and are not ill treated like the EX is trying to make out, they SS will speak to them and find out the truth!


good luck and god bless xx

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