Would You Say Something Or Let It Go?

[Retrochic]

Hi, I'm new,first question. My eldest sons has got engaged to girl he's been living with for a couple of years. I am divorced from his dad and have been re married for a number of years. Sons fiancé gets on really well with my ex husbands wife and is constantly posting pics on FB of them having fun together -that's ok I've no probs with that. This wkend they had an engagement party lots of pics taken of the families and friends and now are posted on both his and her FB pages. Trouble is there is not one pic of me, my husband or his half brother, plenty were taken and I'm annoyed and hurt, I'm his mum and yet he posts pics of him with his arm around step-mum and dad and not one pic of him with my side of the family. Should I ignore it and let it go? Should I put up some pics on my FB page and tag him with a curt message like 'yes we were there too'. Typing this , it seems quite shallow and juvenile but its really bugging me and I don't want to make a fool of myself but want to let them know how I feel. Feedback please?

[CJHorse]

I would say something, and I mean SAY it, don't just post some sarky message on FB. Let him know it's a bit upsetting - chances are he hasn't even noticed.

[Maydup]

Awww Retrochic, i feel for you but doubt its personal or that they realise what they have done. I'm pleased you are all grown up enough to be at the same party so post your own pictures and be proud of your boy. No sarcastic comments, just good ones which they will be delighted to share.

[grasscarp]

I would take no notice. I really dont like facebook as it is a source of such anguish. It is not a contest of how many friends you can claim and the fact that there are or are not pictures of you on their accounts is really not important. If you say something they will be forced to put pix of you - and they would then be meaningless because it will only be done to shut you up. Find something else to worry about and let this go.

[naomi24]

Very hurtful. You might say jokingly that you looked for a picture of you and couldn't find one - but for the sake of harmony, it's probably best to let it go.

[EcclesCake]

If I post pictures I don't consider the balance of people in them, I just try to post good, flattering images.

I'd be more peeved if the only photos from the event had me with my eyes closed or gurning and someone felt obliged to include one just so that I didn't feel snubbed!

[tamborine]

post your photos with "a great day had by all, congrats etc". Best ignore slights as its early days in their union.

[Mamyalynne]

I would comment but keep it sweet and simple....


"Great photos! It was a fabulous party, we really enjoyed ourselves and wish you well for the future"

Mum

[Brinjal]

I agree with all the posts. It no advantage to fall out with your son over this and if you want to post your own photos do so with kind comments as suggested.

[Retrochic]

Thanks for all the replies that's much appreciated and has put things in perspective. I suppose it could have been worse, pics showing me with a big bum or pulling a gurney face lol! I shall take advice given and not stoop to cheap jibes but will post a couple of my pics on FB with a 'thanks for a fab party' sort of comment.

[pusskin]

Thats a very sensible decision Retrochic. Well said.

[Old_Geezer]

Yes casually mention it. It probably wasn’t an intended sleight but best they be aware you were a bit put out by it.

[grasscarp]

^ ^ ^ ^
Noooooo

[joko]

i would add nice comments and like some of the pics - dont be sarky or anything - everyone will see it and you will come off looking worse.

but say stuff like 'oh i remember that , how funny!' or ' i loved that painting on the wall at the back', or 'what a fun night that was'- ' love that dress' - just random stuff ... maybe even a 'is that my arm/leg/hair at the edge there?'

but sound genuine, not loaded comments
it may be enough to make the point, if not have a word with you son perhaps

[Retrochic]

joko I did exactly that! A couple of days later my SON posted some lovely pics of him and his fiancé with us (mum step-dad, brother) with a note that he had taken all our family pics on his phone and had only just got time to upload them. I'm keeping an open mind about his Fiancé , she's working and studying on an evening for a degree so that, along with wedding plans for next year, she has a lot on her mind.

[joko]

perhaps she just doesnt think about that sort of thing and focuses more on her own family and figured its down to your son to include you

or perhaps those just so happened to be the best shots, maybe she felt she looked horrible on all the other - id it keeps happening then id be upset, but just once may just be one of those things

id let it go this time, but say something if it keeps happeneing