Devastated

[rockyracoon]

Had a call last night to tell us that my SIL has terminal cancer, she was feeling unwell a couple of weeks ago so went to hospital for tests, they've given her 2 weeks to live! She's only in her late 40's.

I want to send a card but really don't know what to say in it or even if it's appropriate to send anything. OH is in a daze and just can't get his head round it :(

[Peter Pedant]

Modern doctors are taught not to give time limits - as families complain when they dont and when they do ( die ).

Of course the relatives might have been told 'weeks' and very understandably heard 'two weeks'

tragic event - you should write

[DTCwordfan]

Sorry to hear this rocky......

[lady-janine]

this is awful news for everyone. send a card (more than one as she needs your support), go and visit if possible and take some flowers or send some and a bottle of bubbly. she must be in a worse state of shock than anyone else. just be strong for her.

[Jeza]

So sorry to read your post rocky. Tragic for all concerned. Big hugs from me and Mic. ♥

[boxtops]

Rockette, big hugs to you and her husband/your brother..... if there is an option of a hospice bed, I would hope she takes it. They really are the experts at palliative care, and will do all they can to ease her, physically and mentally. Thinking of you. What a shock for everyone.

[TWR]

Rocky, I have just had the same news regards a very important female friend of mind, it has knocked me knowing the person was very fit,
this big " C" Is a basd, it takes no prisoners, so my thoughts are with you, all I can say, as a friend apart from an Inlaw, always be there for her.

[rockyracoon]

Thanks for all your replies, they really are very much appreciated. Boxy, I don't think there's a choice for her, they said she can't go home so a hospice is the only option from what I understand.

I've been sitting here for a while trying to write her a letter, the words don't seem to be coming. :(

[anneasquith]

rocky, does she have a mobile phone, hospitals don't object to patients using them. you and oh could ring her ?

[mazie]

Just speak from the Heart rocky and forget everything else..... (still thinking about you and the OH)

[rockyracoon]

I would prefer to do that anne but I really think I'll start bawling and that just wouldn't be right or fair. Maybe in a couple of days I might.

[anneasquith]

well, I think you will all start bawling, but in between the sobs, you may well get to talk to each other. I may be wrong but she may well appreciate a call. .

[mazie]

When my Mum was dying and totally out of it I just knew she knew I was there holding her hand and talking a load of crap to her.. and kissing her forehead. All the best in the coming days rocky x

[jubieanna]

how absolutely awful for all the family. so tragic and such a young age :-(

Get OH there asap to support her. he will never forgive himself if he leaves it too late. I think a letter is a good idea and understand how hard it must be to know what to write but just go with your heart rocky. so sad for you all x

[mrs.chappie]

The thing is, if you don't ring, she might think it's because you don't care, and that would be very sad indeed.

[DTCwordfan]

rocky, if you want help writing, e-mail me on [email protected]

what I would need is some bullets on things that you have shared and what she means to you....my draft would give you something to work with....dtc x

[tonyav]

Sorry to hear this terrible news, rocky.

[mrs_overall]

Oh that is so sad - what a shock.
I don't know about a card, but you can let them know you are there for them x

[237SJ]

Well you obviously need to make contact and I presume that the card will get there before your OH does. You can`t really say Get Well Soon, or Best Wishes so I would just say something along the lines of Dear ---- I am so sorry that I can`t be with you at this time but I want you to know that I am thinking of you and when (insert name) comes over to visit he brings all of my heartfelt love to you. (insert name) xxx

[seadogg]

Write by all means , even if it is a simple message, and reassure her that you will do your level best for her husband, who is going to need it for a while. Unless she is overcome by the event she will be comforted by that. It took years for my sis to enjoy life again when B I L died.

[janbee]

Oh Rocky, I'm so very sorry to hear your tragic news. There's nothing I, or anyone else, can say to give comfort to your SIL or to any others in that situation. It's devastating at any age but at a young age, it's a tragedy. I'm so very very sorry. xx