How To Wind Up Nhs Staff- Part 4
When I was recently admitted to hospital there wasn't a bed available on the ward I normally end up on, so I spent the first night on a random ward. The next day, as visiting time was due to start, I was informed a bed had become available on my regular ward. When Mr O arrived he carried my bag for me to the other ward. I dumped my bag, said a quick hello to the staff then announced Mr O and I were heading off to the coffee shop.
The nurse in charge said "Can the student nurse take your obs before you go."
I returned to my room, followed by the student nurse who realised she didn't have my folder and returned to the desk. In the time she took to bring my folder back, I had already taken my own temperature, blood pressure & pulse. She laughed and said "I can tell you are an old pro."
Luckily, all the nurses on duty were congregated around the desk (maximum audience impact) when I flung my arm forward dramatically, pointed at the student nurse and said loudly "She has just called me a prostitute."
The poor girl went bright red and said, "I didn't say that, I said you are an old pro."
Playing to the crowd, who were all struggling to keep straight faces, I said "Hah! So not only is she calling me a prostitute, she is calling me an old prostitute."
I don't know what the student nurse said next as she was stuttering so badly. My sidekick (Mr O) patted her on the arm in a kindly manner and said "Don't get upset love, how do you think I met her?"
I know, I know...I really shouldn't do this but student nurses/doctors always seem like fair game to me. Anyway, it toughens them up for the real world.