Thanks, but no thanks . . .

[mibn2cweus]

Yuh never know, when sitting down for the first time to dine with strangers, when you might be called upon to say grace. In such awkward moments it would be nice to be able to oblige without the need to fake a belief you find repugnant and ludicrous. So how do you think the following prayer would go over as an atheist's version of a mealtime blessing?


"Dear God, Yes, I know that you do not exist, however, some of my friends sitting here at this table with me believe that you do and they would not feel comfortable with devouring the flesh of this beast that was raised up and slaughtered to satisfy our own nutritional requirements and the fruits of these plants that were discovered through an often painstaking process of trial and error, whose seeds were sown and we learned to cultivate and harvest to further supplement our minimum daily adult requirements as established through the expenditure of tax dollars by government funded researchers, without first giving thanks to you.

"And while I have your attention thanks also for the cook slaving away in the hot kitchen, bless the aching legs of the hard working waitress taking our orders and delivering our food as well as the hands and stomachs of those who will have to clean up the mess we leave behind.

"So with that task complete and out of the way, may we eat now? Oh, and would you take care of the tip for us please? Thanks loads. You duh man! Amen."


Any other suggestions of a better solution for resolving this dilemma (short of salivation) would be greatly appreciated.

[saxy_jag]

"For what we are about to receive, may there surely be a cure."

[Aquagility]

During WWII, we used to say "For what we are about to receive, let us thank God and the Men of the Merchant Navy"

[WaldoMcFroog]

LOL Mib!

[wizard69]

Dear god, thank you for the food that you have provided for us this day. We are deeply thankful for the abundance of food that you have blessed us with in the western world and we will try not to think of the hundreds of thousands that are starving in Africa that you have ignored. We know lord that you love us all equally...but some more equal than others...and we wont question why you dont send life giving rain that will help to grow crops in droubt ridden areas where people drop like flies. We thank you for the chance to stuff our overfed faces on McDonalds and pizza hut because you obviously favour us over those skelital Ethiopians, amen...

[mibn2cweus]

Thanks for all the helpful recommendations provided thus far.

In a related matter, I often wonder if grace is also given before it comes out the other end and if so, what is said.

. . . other than perhaps, "Dear God, please don't make it too fat."???

[mibn2cweus]

Waldo, I've already tried that . . . and it didn't go over to well at all.

[dannyday5821]

well your right Mr 60yr old man, but...

unfortunatley, theres a thing called polite. which gets nicley in the way of us "none believers" i would rather just pretend to go with the flow, rather than play the odd one out. its easier, and no one likes to be the odd one out. (ask any child, they know all about that!)

although...having said that...

i remember going to a catholic 6th form college. and when we had assembly, even though i told them im strictly NOT religious in any way shape or form, they still tried to make me attend mass. (it is called mass isnt it?) anyways, one time, me and a load of friends even tried to leg it out of the hall, can you believe the teachers tried to stop us!?

I have to say though, that the running-away-from-mass senario is entirley different from the dinner-table-saying-grace senario. firstly, i was immature then, and secondly, im more mature now (...i think...) and i would hate it, but id feel more comfortable at a dinner table pretending.

the only places i dont like are churchs, honestly...they give me the creeps...

[mibn2cweus]

In A Pickle, Your religious friends deserve some credit for having the decency not to insult you with that holier than thou attitude that so may God fearing imbeciles feel so compelled to toss in the faces of those who do not share their delusions. Your outspoken refusal to pander to another�s misguided convictions may explain their reluctance to behave so rudely in your presence. Were they to display such behavior I doubt you would consider them as your friends. As such we should hope your friends are not praying secretly to themselves thereby jeopardizing the chance that you will be together to enjoy each others company again in the �great hereafter�.

Oh Danny my man, As nearly as I can ascertain churches consist of, are designed by and built for the worshipping of �the creeps�.

[saxy_jag]

My bloke has a lovely little prayer printed on a t-shirt that came courtesy of Oysterband - "GOD PROTECT US ... from your followers".

[Solarjunkie]

In a similar situation, I merely said "For what we are about to receive, may we all be truly grateful".
Seemed to fit the bill.

[mibn2cweus]

Thanks everyone, I am truly grateful to you all for your courteous and creative responses. My compliments to Wizard, that hit the spot. And my apologies to Waldo, no disrespect intended.

Don m�id at� romhainn, t�im�d bu�och

[sandyRoe]

Some hae meat and cannae eat
Some would eat that want it
But we hae meat and we can eat
Sae lets get down an start it