A man goes into a bar with some black asphalt and some red asphalt. He orders a beer for himself and one for the road. The bar tender asks about the red asphalt and the guy says "don't mess with him, he's a cycle path"
A guy walks into a bar. The bartender asks, ''how's it going?''
''Okay I guess, holding my own.''
''That's good,'' replied the bartender. ''You'd get arrested if you held someone else's.''