Eyes!

[TWR]

When you enter a conversation with someone, can you read what sort of person she / he is by looking in their eyes?

[anneasquith]

just be wary of anyone who does not make eye contact with you !!!

[ummmm]

Why Anne?

Some people are shy and find eye contact with strangers quite difficult.

[dunnitall]

That's true ummmm, some people feel intimidated by eye contact with someone who is confident, takes all sorts doesn't it.

[Khandro]

I know a person who is kind, generous, Intelligent, brilliant organiser, witty and regular all-round solid person, but he always seems to have difficulty looking straight at you. I'd really love to know if there was a reason, perhaps it's a characteristic formed early on in life. I can't see that anything significant can be read into it, I now accept it's just the way he is.
Does anyone know of someone similar?

[dunnitall]

Yes I do Khandro. Nice guy but doesn't like eye contact, doesn't like confrontation so I don't know if that has anything to do with it, must be something in their childhood that has made them like this?

[jennyjoan]

Yes Khandro - my sister's friend - a very very funny person - just talks dead-pan but the way she says it - one goes into convulsions. Again all done without her hardly looking at your face. But because of the laughter you don't care.

[ummmm]

My son is like that, Khandro. He's fine at home but really struggles unless he knows someone well.

[1ozzy]

Insecurity?

[Khandro]

dunnitall; That's fascinating point! This person I mentioned also avoids confrontation, and now I think about it, someone else too, and yet neither of them are pussy cats, just hate confrontation.
ummm; Would that apply to your son?

[ummmm]

I think so Ozzy. Insecurity and/or shyness.

[ummmm]

Khandro...Yes, absolutely. He's even awkward with family. Nothing has happened in his childhood but he does have very mild autism.

It's like he feels that everyone that speaks to him is judging him. He's brilliant at home though.

I worry for him and how he'll manage to get a job. He's a clever boy.

His sister and brother have the gift of the gab and could charm the pants of you. I wonder does that make him feel inferior in some way.

[1ozzy]

It took ages for me to convince my eldest son that he should "look people in the eye" instead of "checking out their shoes".
Some people can't afford good shoes and staring at their shoes could be embarrassing for them :-)
Now he is a very confident young man.

[ummmm]

Good for him, Ozzy. I hope my son will turn out the same.

[1ozzy]

All the best ummmm.
Patience and persistence.

[ummmm]

And love and kisses :-)

[Khandro]

ummm; Perhaps he doesn't feel inferior. I really think we are on to something with this non-confrontational thing, does he avoid argument?
Of the two men I mention, one was a company director and the other an actor of stage and screen, neither of them are shrinking violets, but I now realize that they will both avoid argument at all cost, unlike (I'm ashamed to say) yours truly :0)

[ummmm]

Yeah...he'll avoid confrontation. He fears being embarrassed. He'll argue with us though. Inhouse only.

[dunnitall]

Khandro, like the chap I know, he will avoid arguments like the plague, will walk away if necessary and doesn't particularly like to oppose other peoples views. Seems there's a theme to some of this, background or mild autism maybe? Just don't know myself.

[agchristie]

I always remember this song line 'words can never disguise what we say with our eyes'!!