how do you build confidence and self worth

[dmaxxx]

i suffer from low sef esteem,i used to sing and was life an soul of the party,that was 15 yrs ago,ive been three sum really tough times in them yrs.im to get over a cheating x girl who i still love but she wasnt even that good lookin and was a lying cheat,,my confidence is shattered because of her not wanting me even though everyone tells me shes a nutcase and that im a very godlooking guy,,just need to feel good about myself again

[zombie1000]

Hi Dmaxxx

Been there mate. First of all, get her out of your head. Easier said than done, but write down a pros and cons table. You may realise that it wasn't as good as you first imagined. Personally speaking, my confidence was zapped throughout the relationship without me realising it. It is clear as day to me now. Think what you can have with someone else. How much better it will be. Now comes the confidence part. I tried a mixure of hypnosis and Thought Field Technology. You can download sessions for Confidence from various sites for free or buy them on cds on ebay for a couple of quid. TFT is a technique where you tap pressure points on your body. You may have seen Paul McKenna use this on tv. It really works and there are many books available on the subject. You will be sorted out in no time and chatting up all the girls in the pub.

[WendyS]

Fifteen years ago was a long time and even if you were the life and soul of the party then, you may have grown up and taken on more responsibilities which may have obliged you to take life more seriously, so don't compare yourself now and then ane necessarily expect to be the same person.

I think the way to build up your self esteem is to start liking yourself a little more and do things in your life which help you to feel good and develop more confidence. Take up a new hobby, interest or evening class which will help you to mix with other people. Go to a gym and get yourself fit. Go something nice, however small, for another person every day, even if it is smiling and saying Hello to a stranger. Turn yourself into the kind of guy that other people are happy to be with. That attitude will help you make new friends (and girl friends). However difficult, try to put thoughts of this girl into the past so that when you meet somebody new you won't be relating to her on the rebound.

If you put 1000 people into a room and ask those who haven't been jilted at some time in their life to put up their hands I bet not a single hand would be raised. The secret is to keep yourself busy doing new activities so that you become more of a person and like yourself more. Good luck.

[Ethmer]

Consider getting involved in some volunteer groups. You will then improve your sense of self-worth and start seeing things differently.

Think positive, do positive and share yourself and your abilities with others, especially those who happen to be less fortunate then yourself.