Dr. Sqad's Day

[marval]

Dr. Sqad was brought up on charges at the medical board. He had, it seemed, uttered the vilest profanity to his nurse.

He explained, "Let me tell you what happened. My alarm didn't go off, so I woke up late. When I did wake up, I tried to turn on the light in the lamp on my nightstand. The bulb exploded and scared me for a minute, so I pulled the cord out of the wall, and the lamp fell over and broke.



Then I was trying to make a little breakfast when a whole army of little Girl Scouts showed up and tried to sell me tons of biscuits. I had to buy five boxes to get rid of the kids. By then my coffee was ice cold, and my eggs were burned. I gulped down a glass of juice. It turned out to be sour.



When I started to drive to the office, the car conked out. The alternator was gone. I didn't have my automobile club card with me so I had to pay to have the car towed to a service station. I looked at my service book and discovered that the warranty ran out last week.



I took a cab to the office, but around the high street somebody sideswiped me, and I hit my head on the door handle.

I finally made it into my office when my nurse said, "Doctor, a shipment of thermometers just came in. What shall I do with them?"

[Dizmo]

Stick them up your (censored).

[BlackadderV]

Well, if they were rectal thermometers that's exactly what you iwould do with them.

[1ozzy]

"Nurse, nurse "my pen has run out if ink".
"No doctor, that is your rectal thermometer".
"Which ****hole has my pen?"