Good Morning Monday A Bers

[janbee]

How are you all?
Still without our Captain, we must struggle on until his return.
Blowing a hoolie here and it's POURING rain. Ah yes lovely Autumnal weather.
xx

[DTCwordfan]

I hear that they have two new uses for sheep in Wales - meat and wool.....

[murraymints]

lol....

[murraymints]

absolutely true story..when in benefit I had a call from local police..they had someone in custody that was shouting that he had an appt to see me and would not shut up....how likely is he to be at liberty any time soon ? i asked ... not all they replied , but please can you sort him so we can lock him up....ok I said, bring him over....i had to interview him whilst he was cuffed to the chair and a copper.....turns out the local farmer had caught him in the act with a pig !!! well it WAS Norfolk !!

[DTCwordfan]

lol - we had a local farmer in southern Cumbria who took a bet on as to a sheep...£50 I think when fifty was fifty. Anyway, the sheep decides to contract on him and he ends up in hospital with a member that looked like pink tagliatelle apparently....served him right.

[murraymints]

EEK EEK OUCH !

[DTCwordfan]

I think that is what he said too!

[murraymints]

imagine the out patients dept...splint or not to splint ! lol

[DTCwordfan]

Then there was our next door neighbour, a farmer down a lane. He had a penchant for the bottle and regularly came home slaughtered, his missus getting more and more frustrated by having her kip disturbed.

Anyway, he came home one night to find all the doors locked and after shouting, realised that he had been deliberately locked out. He thought and where would be warm - the piggery....fresh straw down in there.

Apparently, she ceded around 2am and came downstairs and outside to look for him. Goes into the piggery and there he is, close up to the sow and stroking her nipples. Back to the house she went when she heard him say, "Eeee, I didn't knare that you 'ad so many buttons on tha nightdress, Dora."

[DTCwordfan]

Restorative surgery I believe, minty.

[murraymints]

LOL....Bill now Bella ?

[DTCwordfan]

Time to be moving, me thinks, have a great day, minty xx and behave yourselves, the rest of you - no sheep or pigs!

[murraymints]

bye dt xx best shift myself..see you all later xx

[lady-janine]

sorry rather late but lots to do so hi and bye. best wishes to all. xx