Paranoia and insecurity

[Cymbeline]

My boyfriend recently did a favour for my best friend. Today she sent him an email to say thank you. I am worried that he will respond and they will start flirting. She is the kind of girl who has men falling at her feet with her charm and wit. Am I right to be feeling paranoid? I know I should trust them but you hear about this sort of thing happening all the time don't you? I mean, it's just human nature to have a bit of a flirt. Can I do anything? Should I be honest and tell her I'm feeling insecure of her "charms" in the hope that she will feel guilty. It's so hard to not fear the worst.

[bellasasha]

take it from me, if you voice this to him he will run!! i dont think there is anything to worry about...if it is just harmless flirting where is the harm?

[Rubyrose]

Hey Cymbeline :o)

I don't think you should mention it just yet as it was just one email. If you hear of anything more then maybe you can ask him why they are still contacting eachother when she has thanked him and thats all that should have happened. It may be the most innocent situation but don't let them make a fool of you. Some of the worst things come from the most innocent of situations.

I think if you seriously trust them both (which it doesn't sound like, as you wouldn't have posted this) then you should leave it be. This doesn't mean that you shouldnt be on your guard but don't let it take control of you. The needier you become for reassurance the more your friend will seem like an attractive prospect!

(Sorry.. does my answer sound abit rude? Not intended :o) )

[dancealot13]

Great responses! Cymbeline I totally agree ;) No need to worry. Also if she is a true friend she wouldn't start emailing your boyfriend on a regular basis, and she wouldn't flirt with him either, Im sure she has more respect for you then to do something like that.

But of course...if she does. Simply set her in her place.

[Cymbeline]

You've all been a big help, thank you. I know I must have sounded like a screw up but who can say they haven't been struck by jealousy before? If I suffer from this affliction more than most then perhaps I've more reason to be cynical. I do appreciate all your advice though. I went for a walk and told myself I was being silly, after all each of them would surely be too scared that the other might tell me if any "saucy" emails were exchanged; and I am certain neither of them would risk losing me.

[dumb]

Wouldnt you have been slightly miffed if she hadnt said thank you? Dont turn this into something its not hun.

[Chipshopfat]

Look, if you really love someone then you should tell them about your insecurities and/or paranoia.

Or, like me, just bottle them up and go a bit crazy.

Trust me. You dont want to do that. It hurts.