Outdoor Clothing

[Daffy6543]

THE government has advised using wildly exaggerated militaristic terms for putting on warm clothes.

A spokesman said: “For surviving a weather bomb you need a personal anti-elements shield, or coat, a high density woollen neck protector – basically a scarf – and a wetness defence head unit, otherwise known as a hat.

“Ensure you perform a full equipment check before leaving the house as it might be windy or, even worse, rainy.”

He also recommended running quickly between buildings then crouching behind dustbins and shouting ‘weather zone clear’ while holding your mobile phone like a walkie-talkie

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/putting-on-coat-renamed-deploying-personal-anti-elements-shield-2014121193751

[ummmm]

Lol.

[Mamyalynne]

And a spare hankie up yer knicker leg.

[Graham-W]

That would be, "A reserve nasal wiper secured in your nether garments lower opening".

[Mamyalynne]

I'm not going to get the job am I?

[maggiebee]

Nah Mamya, you're far too sensible for that!