Bullied Into Spending At Christmas

[dave50]

Why do people put up with being bullied and pressured into spending more than they can afford on presents at Christmas, especially for children? They should stand up and say "i'm sorry but we cant afford much this year" and leave it at that, if others don't understand then it's tough, they are obviously not worth knowing. It really gets me angry when someone is called a scrooge or tight just because they haven't bought a huge sack of presents. The whole thing has just become an excuse to grab as much as possible from friends and family.

[Fusion5]

You don't send cards, you don't do presents or decorate your house with christmas decorations. Do you do Christmas dinner or is it beans on toast lol

You must save a fortune I really admire your fortitude and steadfastness.

[lardhelmet]

I wont be bothering with it all much this year although I have caved in and put up my tree. My Christmas begins when my daughter flies back to the UK for good in January - best present I could ever have!

[anneasquith]

conn. what a lovely thing to do for that lady. and it is a great feeling giving presents , I agree.

[jennyjoan]

thanks but truly am not looking for applause or such - such want to do it from the bottom of my heart. The rest of my nieces and nephews get money and it doesnt do it for me. Buying presents is lovely a feeling in itself.

[ummmm]

Fusion...yes, I do Christmas dinner :-) I've often had 10+ people round. I'd have anyone round who had nowhere to go. My dad used to go to the pub and phone me asking can he bring back so and so and so and so....

We don't save a fortune...we give cash gifts except for the MIL...she gets a present.

I did Christmas when the kids were little but as soon as they got to the age when they preferred to receive money and buy for themselves I gave a big sigh of relief.

I have always disliked the pressure though.

[sherrardk]

My children get what I can afford, none of it is bought using credit - I just budget for it throughout the year. They get £40 from my step dad and a gift (a v generous gift) from a family friend. They are always grateful for what they get and whilst they probably get too much they are not spoilt.

[solvitquick]

I give people gifts outside Chistmas-time if I think it would be a pleasant and deserved surprise. I enjoy that because it's my choice.
I find Christmas, especially the 8-week build up a pain. My partner and I put up tree and decorations only to suffer the agony of taking them down in early January. It's all about social and commercial pressure.
Why are we all expected to be happy on one particular day of the year, irrespective of health or age etc? For many the acting at being joyous is a cruel duty.
Dave is so right in that children's presents are judged by value rather than the good-will thought. Sad that when children return to school they may well have to discuss or show-off their presents. Parents have to keep ahead of the Jones's just like driving the children to school in their 4-wheel drive cars.
But pampered children will only suffer when they grow up and have to face the real world - such a pity.
Sure I buy Xmas presents for those close to me and do my best to enjoy the period but would would do so better without carols and tinsel, especially those dreaded "12-days of Christmas"!
Well done xmas-rebels, I wish I had your courage. I am a bit of a rebel but the Christmas-pressure is too great even for me.
SIQ.
p.s. please don't forget the food banks.

[solvitquick]

Oh, watch out in January for your "bargain" Easter Eggs:)
SIQ.

[Mamyalynne]

I have never felt bullied, never spent more than I can afford and not once gone into debt over Christmas.

I like to think that the sensible approach with my daughters has rubbed off on my Grandchildren - they are the least materialistic children I've met (I'm positive there are many like them).

Struggling for ideas for the eldest, I asked him on Thursday what he would like - he replied 'I'm at an awkward age Grandma, don't worry about anything' so I said would money in his card be ok. He was thrilled with that.

He's 11.

[Daffy6543]

solvitquick; /// Sad that when children return to school they may well have to discuss or show-off their presents.///

I used to hate this time of year when I was a kid because I was brought up in kids homes, we had £5.00 birthday budget and £10 Christmas budget (per child obviously) so we got rather paltry gifts whilst our mates were getting Sony Walkmans (1980s), TVs, bikes etc. I never got gifts from family.

[solvitquick]

Dear Daffy6543,
Ty for takng the time to read my post. Fortunately, when an oldie like me was dragged-up in bombed out city slums (by kind but poor parents) most children kept quiet on return to school. I am sure that you, like me. fought your way up to a relatively good status in life.
Poverty is a great educator and inspiration to do better things.
I think that dave50 was raising issues that are right and has sparked some interesting overall comments
With Kindest Regards and Best Wishes,
SIQ.

[Postdog]

Never mind presents, I've just spent a small fortune on beer and spirits. I honestly wouldn't bother with Christmas if it wasn't for the kids.

[mikey4444]

lol Postdog...my thoughts exactly !

[mibn2cweus]

When it comes to Santa choosing which presents to leave under the tree it soon became apparent . . . the wealthy obviously have bigger chimneys.

[solvitquick]

Dear mibn2cweus,
Lol. Yup you're nearly there. The rich have actual working chimneys while today we serfs just have central heating and no chimneys at all!
Santa deserves the Nobel prize for physics - how does he keep it up? I mean delivering presents so please don't say Viagra!
Aaaw 20 yrs ago, we had an open fireplace and chimney as well as central heating. It was great, especially in the post-hurricane black-out.
I would prefer a female Santa for my present but don't tell the wife.
SIQ.