Things My Mother Taught Me!

[maggiebee]

My mum taught me –
Religion................... “You better pray that comes out of the carpet.”
Logic........................”Because I said so, that’s why.”
Irony.......................”Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
Wisdom..................”When you get to my age you’ll understand.”
Justice....................”One day you’ll have kids. I hope they turn out just like you.”
Economics.............”When you start paying the bills around here you can have something to say around here.”

[maggiebee]

If you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me!

[stuey]

Hygiene: As she spit on her hankie and wiped a smudge off your face.

[stuey]

"my face", that is

[Psybbo]

Optometry - Don't show your white of eye to me!

[Slapshot]

Life and love.... there's more than one way to skin a cat.....

[stuey]

Astrology "You can thank your lucky stars you didn't break your leg jumping
from that tree!"

[guilliebrougues]

School days are the best years of your life. You cannot go out to play until you have eaten all your food there are starving children in the world. (of course now the later is true.

[Psybbo]

Intelligence - you're stupid (last week because she couldn't hear me)

[shoota]

Confidence in her own abilities: 'I can always change my will you know.....'

[Psybbo]

Shoota, nothing to leave...............

[lardhelmet]

What: Why couldn't you have been more like your cousin instead of your grandma?

[DTCwordfan]

Sex therapy..............One more sticky sheet and you'll be blind.

[stuey]

Anatomy and Physiology: "You know, things just seem to go in your one ear and out the other!"

[seadogg]

Travel. I am going to send you to the home for naughty boys if you truant again.

[chaptazbru2]

What's for tea Mum ................Three jumps at the pantry door ! (eh????)