I'm Getting A Little Fed Up . . .

[LewPaper]

keep getting calls for a fast food outlet that's just opened and probably only one digit away from mine.
What I'm gonna do is sell this phone and eBay and buy another one (they're not expensive) and let someone else get the calls for a change.

[Buenchico]

My phone number is one digit different to a Chinese takeaway. I wouldn't mind the mis-directed calls so much if it wasn't always the SAME guy that gets it wrong!

[melv16]

Can I have chicken madras and a nan please:)

[EcclesCake]

If you deliver can I have a mixed Thali, no fish or dhal though.

[BlackadderV]

Selling your phone will not stop the problem; changing your number will.

Thirty years ago my phone number was one digit different from GPO head office in my home town. My outgoing message on my answer machine always finished with,"Please note, this is NOT the Post Office!"

[atalanta]

Patrick Moore ( well, he said it was about a friend of his, but I think it was the stargazer himself) told this tale. A chap had had the same telephone number for a while until a new hospital opened nearby. Then he started getting lots of calls demanding to be put through to maternity, ENT, outpatients, etc etc etc He got so fed up with this that he asked the phone company for a new number. They hummed and haahed and dragged their feet, so he tried the following:
Caller - "put me through to maternity".
reply - "no ! "
Caller - "what do you mean- no ?"
Reply - " because you've been naughty ! ".
After only very few of these, the telephone number was soon changed by the phone company.

[maggiebee]

Many moons ago my telephone number was one digit different from our local coca cola depot. Wish I had a penny for every call I got from pubs, clubs etc with their order. Did eventually get number changed.

[grasscarp]

I used to work in BBC radio in London. We were always getting calls asking if we were Mother Bunchies Wine Bar.

[Samuraisan]

Many years ago we were one digit different for a " lady of the night " . After getting fed up of " Tiger " calling and a few strange requests I phoned her up and told her to change her number because she was losing a lot of trade.

[LewPaper]

Hiya Melv. No problems with the chicken madras but don't yer think yer grandad might be a bit put out?
And Eccles, what d'yer want if I can't deliver?

[Dizmo]

LewPaper: Do you do-liver though?

[melv16]

Good retort lew :)

[zebo]

My Mother's phone was a digit from a taxi firm so she got loads of drunken calls. I once stayed over and answered the phone, sending "taxis" out. The taxi firm changed their number, they must have had complaints!

[LewPaper]

Would that be a deep-fried though, Dizmo or just the plain one?

[Dizmo]

I'd like one deep fried cirrhosis liver with portal vein thrombosis and a brain please. Oooh ooh can the brain be from a sheep who has suffered blunt force trauma - preferably a subdural hematoma - one that has been fished up off the coast will do. Thanks

[Dizmo]

zebo: My ex ex girlfriends mum's house phone number was a reallocated one and used to belong to a pizza takeaway. After the first 10 phone calls of me saying "We are not a take away" I decided to have some fun. I was only young and very drunk. Let's just say I upset a lot of people that night when they were sat waiting for hours for their take away's to arrive at their door. I must of took about 20 orders. I do feel bad about it now though - if I'd of been one of the people calling and expecting some food and it didn't arrive I think I'd be in tears.

[LewPaper]

Wouldn't you just credit it? I've just sold my last brain - for some reason there's been a run on 'em this week. I did have a heart but I must've left it in San Fransisco.

[Dizmo]

Do you have any lungs? and for what price; tell me they haven't inflated...

[LewPaper]

Well, I have but I'm still using them. When I've finished with 'em I'll let you know.