I Hate

[marval]

I hate the way pillow and duvet salesmen talk down to you.

I've just come back from a diving holiday in Egypt.
It cost me an arm and a leg.

I booked a flight the other day and the lady said, “What side do you want to sit on" and I said “The inside"

I just saw the magician Dynamo on the High street.
He said, "Try and pick me up"
I said, "You have beautiful eyes"

I was really excited about opening a savings account, but once I started taking money out, I just lost interest.

I always test psychics with a knock knock joke.
If they say "Who's there?" I get up and leave.

An English golfer's mate is permanently banned from Royal St Georges after yesterday's ghostly clubhouse events. At one point staff said books and objects were flying at them from all sorts of mysterious angles.
In the end they found out it was an Ian Poulter's guest.

I've just been fired from my job as a Sinatra lookalike.
Just not good enough, to be Frank

I'm depressed and I hate my job. Every day I ask myself "is it really worth it?"
Mind you, I am an antiques dealer.

The West Bank. The favourite holiday destination of Reverend Spooner.

[Svejk]

Call me stupid but I don't get the second one.

[Jackdaw33]

...got bitten by a shark.

[Svejk]

Sorry, still don't get it.

[retrocop]

svejk
Welcome back by the way. Last year some tourists were turned into a Full Egyptian Breakfast by Mr Jaws who had been encouraged, apparently, with copious amounts of chum by Egyptian boatmen who were taking tourists out on their boats for Shark sighting Trips.

[Svejk]

Ta. I missed that. Did they deliberately kill them?

[Old_Geezer]

Ah that explains it. I did wonder. Needs prior knowledge of a specific news story then.

[cupid04]

Lol! I liked the 4th one best!

[zebo]

To show how "jokes" can show their age, one from my childhood. When a couple marry, should they be frank and earnest? Or does one have to be a woman?
Can't tell that anymore.

[janbee]

:-)

[penelope2]

Liked the last one. LOL