Quite right to set up a separate thread, Jim - good idea.
I may be naive, but I'd like to think that the majority of people on both boards (and other solvers who don't post) would regard all of this with detached bemusement. The whole "them and us" thing is really a bit silly - the idea that everyone who uses the crosswordsolver is a serial cheat (certainly not true) or that everyone who uses the answerbank is unfriendly, unhelpful or otherwise socially deficient (equally untrue).
I wouldn't in fact reject everything substantive that Meursault has said out of hand - there is a reasonable point to be made that a public forum is a public forum, and it's scarcely a criminal offence to post even wholesale spoilers. Equally, it seems completely reasonable that a group of people discuss their appreciation of a crossword publicly *without* wishing to give spoilers. Some may think that is pretentious, but I don't - it seems pretty sincere to me. And for what it is worth, I found the AB "community" (not clique!) pretty supportive a few years ago when I started doing the Listener - it was nice to be able to ask for hints but without spoiling the fun of discovering the theme of the crossword for myself. (My only real objection to wholesale sharing of answers is that it is really, really hard to do it without giving away the theme. But this is all a matter of personal taste).
The ultimate arguments for/against explicit discussion of live puzzles are pretty trivial, but it does genuinely sadden me that it should turn this sour, petty and personal. If a bunch of people who all like doing the Listener should fall out so violently, there's not much hope for the world!